The Antidote to Envy

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The tenth commandment says you shall not covet your neighbor’s house or anything that belongs to your neighbor. I don’t covet money or possessions. I tend to envy certain people for their achievements – like classmates who have done very well or colleagues with impressive titles.

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Ecclesiastes 4:4, NIV

In his book Signature Sins: Taming the Wayward Heart, Michael Mangis says that envy is about “one’s place in the world.” Envy reflects dissatisfaction with who God made you to be. Envy is never content. When you envy another, you may think that God is withholding what you deserve.

There are many downsides to envy besides ungratefulness. Envy blinds you to your own gifts. Envying someone else is a huge waste of time and energy, like chasing the wind. Even worse, envy can lead to other sins.

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

James 3:16, NIV

Sins have opposite virtues. Mangis calls these opposites antidotes. Antidotes to envy include gratitude, contentment, and satisfaction.

I choose to fight envy with affirmations of my worth and praise to my Creator.

I am uniquely and wonderfully made. (The use of the word “fearfully” in Psalm 139:14 has always puzzled me.)

Thank you, God, for my unique talents and interests, for my spiritual gifts, and for the fruit the Spirit is producing in me. You created me with a purpose far more important than any career.

I am a beloved child of God.

Thank you, Father, for choosing me as your own. You know my name! I am precious to you. Thank you for loving me so much that you want to transform me. You discipline the ones you love.

I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Salvation is my most precious gift. Thank you, Lord, for redeeming me. You paid the ultimate price for my sins and you are my best friend.

Affirmations and praise are good, but I must also change the way I view other people. Regard no one from a worldly point of view. When I am tempted to envy others, may I instead lift them up in prayer.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 5:14-19

Am I trying to please people?

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At the beginning of the year, I prayerfully made my New Year’s resolution: please God above everyone else and reject the world’s definition of worthiness. The “and” makes it seem like two resolutions. It’s really one; I can’t live a life that is pleasing to God if I continue to seek validation from people.

Since then, I’ve read devotions and scripture that speak to the issues I’ve struggled with. I’ve been busy and haven’t made the time to really reflect on my resolution. Now, it is the Lenten season, and I hope to use this time to think deeply about what God wants me to change this year.

This scripture from Galatians is blunt and not easy to hear. If I am trying to win the approval of people, I am not a servant of my Lord and Savior.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galatians 1:10

Lord Jesus, put this question on my heart daily. Who am I trying to please?

Anxiety Dreams

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Last month, I dreamed I was working in downtown Denver. (I worked there about ten years.) I was hurrying down the 16th Street Mall to catch a bus to take me home to the south suburbs. I got on the bus and tried to find a schedule, but there wasn’t one. The bus flew (like a plane) over Coors Field. It flew west of I-25, then headed south. I didn’t recognize the route. Eventually, the flying bus headed east, and I recognized a high school. The bus finally stopped at an office complex. I got off the bus, but I could still see the passengers who stayed on the bus and where they were going. The whole time, I was worried because I had to let my husband know where I was so he could pick me up.

The next night, I dreamed I was in school taking a history test. The teacher warned us to watch our time to make sure we were on track to finish the test. We were given a stack of paper with quotes or statements, and we had to answer whether each statement was true or false. Each page had a one-word clue. When done answering the questions, we were supposed to arrange the clues from the right answers into one long sentence. I was shaking with fear that I wouldn’t finish the test on time. (History is not my best subject.) As I struggled to answer the questions, a few of the other kids were going up to the chalkboard to assemble their words. I couldn’t even tell how much time I had left because every time I looked at my watch, it said the same thing.

I know why I was having stressful dreams. I am an accountant. January is the start of my busy season. I get stressed by the deadlines. My dreams reflect my anxiety.

I have always been fascinated by dreams. I am amazed at how active the brain is when we sleep. Having a couple of stressful dreams in a row got me to wondering about anxiety dreams. In an article about How to Prevent Anxiety Dreams, I learned that when you are stressed, you spend more time in REM sleep, which is when we dream. When you are stressed, your body produces more cortisol.

The article suggested writing anxiety dreams down to help make sense of your thoughts and emotions. Take some deep breaths. Talk to someone. Make a plan. I wrote my dreams down. I told myself, this is temporary. This too, will pass. You’ve been through stressful times at work before and everything got done. Even when things went wrong, you got through them. And I reminded myself that if I needed to, I could put in extra hours on the weekend.

An article about common stress dreams says that stressful dreams can be beneficial. If you dream that you’ve lost something or you’re late or you can’t finish the test, your brain may be rehearsing things that might go wrong. This helps you deal with stress in real life. In a study, students who had stressful dreams did better than those who didn’t.

Writing my dreams down helped process my anxiety. Having a plan and knowing that I have some control over my situation helped me cope with my stress. Having a trusted friend to talk to, even in the middle of the night – that’s even better! Prayer brings a peace that transcends all understanding.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Just One Thing

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Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

Christians should not be like everyone else. Our values and priorities should be different. We should be so changed by salvation, people might even think we’re weird.

In Craig Groeschel’s book Weird: Because Normal Isn’t Working, he wrote about his weird approach to making New Year’s resolutions. He makes only one New Year’s resolution and that resolution is chosen by someone else. He prays constantly as the new year approaches asking how God wants his life to change.

Instead of having good intentions centered on the self, Groeschel says we should have God intentions centered on what God wants.

How do we know what God wants? We can ask God to reveal his intentions for us and listen for his response. Groeschel suggested some questions to help discern God’s will.

1. What one thing do you desire from God?
2. What one thing do you lack?
3. What one thing do you need to let go?
4. What one promise do you need to claim?

I reflected on these questions for a week and they helped clarify God’s intentions for me for the New Year.

The first question is easy for me to answer. More than anything else, I want my husband to have a relationship with Jesus. Last year, I became upset with him when he refused to go to a church dinner with me. I realized I have to let go and let God.

The second question is harder. The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. But is there one thing that keeps me from whole-heartedly following The Good Shepherd? Is there one issue that God keeps putting on my heart?

I felt the Spirit’s conviction when I read what Groeschel had to say about being a people pleaser:

When we place the approval of other people ahead of doing what we know will please our Father, we’re creating a false idol. Not only does it impair our ability to know God, but it also sends us on a wild-goose chase for a golden egg that doesn’t exist.

Craig Groeschel

At times my desire for social approval keeps me from being myself, from freely sharing my faith. I compare myself to people who seem more successful, talented, or adventurous. I envy them. When I let other people define my worth, I conform to the ways of this world. Even worse, I am not being grateful for the unique talents God has given me.

What one thing do I need to let go to live with God-centered intentions? Groeschel suggested that it might be something from the past, perhaps hurts or failures. I think that measuring myself against other people is a sign of lingering self-esteem issues from my childhood.

Finally, what promise do I need to claim? There are so many promises in God’s word, it’s hard to choose one. I claim this promise:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11:13

Heavenly Father, forgive me for envying others. This year, I resolve to please You, my Creator, above all others and to reject the world’s standards of worthiness. I am grateful that you gave me unique talents and experiences. I embrace my weirdness. How wonderful it is that you love me and that You have a plan for me!

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Fill Me Up

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I can still remember the old days when my dad would pull into a service station and tell the attendant to fill ‘er up. The attendant cleaned our windshield and if asked, would even check the oil. He’d prop up the hood, pull out the dipstick, wipe it off with a rag, then reinsert it.

It’s been years since I’ve been to a full service gas station but I’ve never forgotten the phrase “fill ‘er up.” It was a command directed to a person who could do what you could not do yourself.

In a sermon series on the Holy Spirit, my pastor focused on the phrase “be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). Then he gave us a mini grammar lesson. He pointed out that “be filled” is a command. Be filled is the passive voice – God does the filling. The verb’s aspect is imperfect, describing an action that is ongoing. We are to continually be filled with the Spirit.

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 5:18-20

Being filled with the Spirit is a choice. We choose to be filled with the Spirit instead of being filled with other things. God can’t fill us with His spirit if we are already filled with something else.

The “something else” may be distractions of our daily lives. Do we make time for God? Or perhaps we are filled with thoughts and feelings that aren’t compatible with the Spirit. Paul urges us to not grieve the Spirit with sins of the heart.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:30-32

Paul suggested reciting Psalms and singing songs of praise. Make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks...

Holy Spirit, I love your presence. Come and fill me up.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Come And Fill Me Up” Brian Doerksen

I can feel You flowin’ through me
Holy Spirit, com’n’ fill me up
Come and fill me up
Love’n’ mercy fill my senses
I am thirsty for Your presence, Lord
Come and fill me up

Lord, let Your mercy wash away all of my sin
Fill me completely with Your love once again
I need You, I want You, I love Your Presence
I need You, I want You, I love Your Presence

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Photo credit: engin akyurt on Unsplash.com