I have been going to the same church for about seven years. The church’s stated mission is good: Elevate Jesus, Empower People, and Embody Love. The sermon messages are consistent with the gospel. The church is small enough that I’ve gotten to know a lot of people. I have been making a difference serving as the treasurer and as an elder.
Although I became a member, I never felt like I connected because, as a Never Trumper, I am in the minority. It’s clear that a lot of people in the church support DJT even though his behavior and words are the complete opposite of Jesus, the one we are supposed to follow. A “friend” from church insulted me on social media because I criticized the Trump administration. I do not know who to trust, so I rarely feel free to express my opinions.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
Unfortunately, my peace and limited sense of belonging were destroyed when the church began discussing whether to leave the PC(USA) denomination due to its affirmation of LGBTQIA+ individuals. The pastor says that sexual orientation and gender identity are not his only issues with the denomination. But it is clear that the denomination’s willingness to ordain LGBTQIA+ individuals and to allow them to marry drives the church’s desire to pursue leaving it.
Years before the pastor brought this issue up, I tried to reconcile the scriptures that say that homosexuality is a sin with my belief in science AND in the merciful God who created all human beings.
For weeks, I wrestled with the church’s position on sexual orientation and gender identity, usually at night when I should have been sleeping.
Before the pastor went on a sabbatical, he encouraged us to pray, and he gave us a recommended reading list. He asked the elders not to make a decision until he returned.
I read a very good book I chose for myself, Walking the Bridgeless Canyon, by Kathy Baldock. She used to believe that gays could not be Christian, but had a change of heart once she got to know the people she was judging and started researching the issues.
I watched videos discussing the six scriptures that are used to justify condemning homosexuality and why scholars have issues with how these scriptures were translated or applied to current times. I learned that the word “homosexual” wasn’t used in English translations of the Bible until 1946. I read what scientists and the medical profession have to say about homosexuality and intersex variations. This confirmed my belief that homosexuality and transgenderism are not a choice to disobey God.
My decision to leave my church over this came to me suddenly one night, again while I should have been sleeping! I could see clearly the hypocrisy in people who elevate a man who is anti-Christ while at the same time judging people who are not hurting anyone by being themselves. Of course, not everyone at church supports Trump, but the fact that anyone does is astounding.
When the pastor returned from his sabbatical, the elders met for the regular meeting, followed by a special meeting to decide on whether to begin the process of leaving the denomination. I prepared a resignation letter intending to hand it to the pastor and to let him tell the other elders. My husband wanted me to give the elders and pastors a piece of my mind! I prayed that I would know what to do and what to say.
The junior pastor tried to kick off a discussion preceding the vote, and people remained silent. So I spoke up. I told them that I had lost sleep over this issue. I told them I would be resigning from my leadership roles and would be leaving the church. My voice was shaky. My stomach was in knots. I was emotional. But I said what I needed to say.
When I stopped speaking, there was a moment of stunned silence. Then, the moderator expressed his sadness at my decision. The other elders then began sharing their own opinions. Every single person said something. A couple of people expressed appreciation for my honesty. Two people expressed their own doubts and reservations. A couple held firmly to the simple belief that “it is God’s word,” and we have an obligation to tell them (gays or transgenders who might attend the church). When the vote was taken, everyone but me voted to begin the formal discernment process required to disaffiliate. I abstained.
I will never be able to change the minds of the people in that room or have much of an effect on anyone in the church. The one thing that will result from the discussion is that the pastor will offer classes to help people understand. I wonder how biased they will be?
When I came home that night, my mind was still racing, and I didn’t sleep well. But the next day, I was at peace. I did the right thing, standing up for what I believe. God gave me the courage to speak and walk away.
