Author: Innermost Being

I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Blogging has been a rewarding addition to my spiritual journey. It has shown me how much I want to connect with other people. It has revealed my fears and self-doubts and helped me to face them. My Innermost Being blog is about pursuing spiritual growth through self-examination.

Acceptance

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

I was a painfully shy, quiet child. I didn’t make friends easily. I was uncomfortable being the center of attention. I didn’t talk much, except around family, because it took too long for me to think of what to say. The message I got from teachers and classmates is that the right way to be is outgoing and extroverted. Introversion was a defect.

Thankfully, I felt accepted at home. Mom taught me to accept people for who they are. She modeled acceptance by loving each of us, all eight of us, just as we are. She found something positive in other people and would compliment them and make them feel special.

Acceptance means not trying to change people into who you want them to be and not thinking less of them for not meeting your expectations.

I strive to be a more accepting person, not just of others but also of myself. I fight the tendency to judge others and the temptation to compare myself to others.

Discovering yourself and learning to accept who you are is a life-long journey because a person can change over time (values, beliefs, physically and mentally).

Luke Feldbrugge

Being accepted just as I am with all my flaws and shortcomings is the greatest gift. Thank you, Jesus.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt
Fighting and fears within without
Oh, Lamb of God, I come, I come

My Collegiate History

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

What colleges have you attended?

I took my first college classes when I was in high school. Highland Community College, which began in 1858 as Highland University, was the first college in Kansas. (I learned this just today.) Without ever actually “attending” Highland, I was able to get college speech and English classes out of the way. I have a fear of public speaking, so I was especially grateful to take speech class with kids I knew.

I attended Kansas State University for four years. KSU has also been around a long time. It was founded in 1863 as Kansas State Agricultural College. The College of Business Administration is one of nine colleges that make up the university today. I received a bachelor’s degree with a major in accounting in 1985.

After working for fifteen years, I went back to school to get my masters degree. The company I worked for paid $5,000 of my annual tuition at Regis University in Denver. Regis is a Jesuit university and was founded in 1877.

It took two years of evening classes to earn an MBA from the Regis School for Professional Studies, which was geared towards adult learners. I attended most of my classes at the south campus with other adult students. As a graduate student, I did not feel as connected to Regis as I did as an undergraduate at KSU.

We encourage our students to seek truth, live purposeful lives and attempt to answer the question: “How ought we to live?”

Regis University

I was the first college graduate in my family. There are many more college graduates in the next generation, including a few who graduated from KSU.

I treasure my college memories. I lived on campus in a dorm for two years, then lived off campus in a small house with two roommates. Those years taught me to be independent and responsible.

Word Games

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

I am a Wordle addict. (As of this morning, I’ve played 690 daily games.) By the time I get up in the morning, my brothers David and Ross have already played and shared their results on Facebook.

David likes to give hints after playing, as does my friend Brian. I prefer to solve Wordle without hints, but my sister Cindy uses them to her advantage. In just the past week, she solved one game in two guesses and three games with one guess! The average number of guesses is four.

I asked Cindy if playing with clues feels like cheating because that’s how I feel. She said no; she still has to figure out what David’s hints mean. Cindy is very competitive (and shameless!).

Since you can only play Wordle once a day, I found more daily word games to play every day – Quordle, Quordle Sequence, and Octordle. They’re all more challenging than Wordle.

Word games wake up my brain every morning.

Changing seasons

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

What are your biggest challenges?

Last June, I fractured my shoulder and had rotatator cuff surgery, followed by three months of physical therapy. It was challenging to regain my range of motion.

I went to a client’s board meeting in July. Schlepping my bags around the airport with one arm in a sling was challenging. The board approved a couple of changes to the company’s business plan. I did not look forward to implementing the changes.

That business trip triggered my decision to retire this year. My retirement day will be the start of a new season in my life.

My job will be challenging for the next few months. My busy season as an accountant goes from January through March or April. Multiple deadlines and worries about how I’m going to get everything done on time are stressful.

I don’t look forward to the challenge of training a replacement to do my challenging job. What if he or she can’t handle it?

My biggest challenges have been short-term and seem insignificant compared to the challenges other people face.

Preparing Spiritually for 2024

by Innermost Being, posted in Faith and Culture

I remember the Y2K fears of the late 1990’s. People were afraid that computer systems would not handle the year 2000 correctly because programmers used a 2-digit year. At work, I was tasked with contacting service providers to ask about their preparedness for the year 2000.

Recently, I watched a political program about threats to US democracy. The commentator warned the audience that 2024 is going to be a difficult year.

I was not prepared for the outcome of the 2016 presidential election. I was shocked to hear that over 80% of “evangelical” Christians voted for a man who is the complete opposite of Christ.

For me, preparing for 2024 isn’t about preparing for a political battle but for a spiritual one. How does one prepare spiritually for a year that promises to be tumultuous and perhaps even life changing?

1. Choose to be on God’s side.

When I recommitted my life to Christ, it was because I saw the destructive power of hate and darkness, and I wanted to be on the side of love and light. God revealed his goodness through Jesus.

Which side do you choose?

– Hate or love

– Deception or truth

– Selfishness or charity

– Vengeance or forgiveness

– Grievance or gratitude

– Discord or peace

– Division or unity

– Pride or humility

– Self-interest or the interest of others

– Lawlessness or accountability

All of us behave in ways that do not reflect God’s goodness. But I will have nothing to do with the perverse of heart.

The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil.

Psalm 101:4

2. Stand firmly with God’s protective armor.

The Apostle Paul described how to prepare for spiritual battles (Ephesians 6:19-18). Put on the full armor of God – the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit (God’s word), with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

I struggled with Paul’s description of footwear. Obviously, you don’t go into a battle with bare feet. To stand firmly in God’s armor, you need sturdy shoes.

But why mention the gospel of peace? Well, it is because salvation brings peace that surpasses all understanding. In other words, when we are saved, we can be at peace in all circumstances.

In an article on the shoes of peace, Stacey Salsbery pointed out that the enemy wants to steal our peace. He wants us to be anxious and afraid. If we worry about bad things that might happen, we won’t focus on advancing God’s kingdom.

Christine Batchelder made similar observations. She wrote that the Greek word for prepared, hetoimos, means sure-footed, established, ready to go. We should be so established in peace that we are prepared to share the good news.

3. Trust in God’s sovereignty.

We may get so distressed about current events that we ask, is God in control? He is omnipotent, so why doesn’t he prevent bad things from happening?

God permits Satan and man to act. Man has free will. John Piper explains that permitting man to act is part of God’s ultimate design and final control. He allows us to make bad choices, knowing He can work them into his overall plan for human redemption.

God is my help and my shield. I trust his holy name. His purposes are good. He has pulled me through every challenge I’ve ever faced.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Psalm 33:11

4. Be alert and pray.

Be on your guard against the wiles of Satan. Don’t let him steal your peace.

Pray about your worries and concerns. Pray for God’s will to be done. Pray for God’s kingdom. Pray that God will use whatever happens in 2024 to bring people to him.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for my salvation. Thank you for pulling me through dark and distressing times. Keep my eyes focused on you and your will for my life. Make me an instrument of your peace and prepare me to share the good news.