Courage to speak my mind and walk away

I have been going to the same church for about seven years. The church’s stated mission is good: Elevate Jesus, Empower People, and Embody Love. The sermon messages are consistent with the gospel. The church is small enough that I’ve gotten to know a lot of people. I have been making a difference serving as the treasurer and as an elder.

Although I became a member, I never felt like I connected because, as a Never Trumper, I am in the minority. It’s clear that a lot of people in the church support DJT even though his behavior and words are the complete opposite of Jesus, the one we are supposed to follow. A “friend” from church insulted me on social media because I criticized the Trump administration. I do not know who to trust, so I rarely feel free to express my opinions.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Unfortunately, my peace and limited sense of belonging were destroyed when the church began discussing whether to leave the PC(USA) denomination due to its affirmation of LGBTQIA+ individuals. The pastor says that sexual orientation and gender identity are not his only issues with the denomination. But it is clear that the denomination’s willingness to ordain LGBTQIA+ individuals and to allow them to marry drives the church’s desire to pursue leaving it.

Years before the pastor brought this issue up, I tried to reconcile the scriptures that say that homosexuality is a sin with my belief in science AND in the merciful God who created all human beings. 

For weeks, I wrestled with the church’s position on sexual orientation and gender identity, usually at night when I should have been sleeping.

Before the pastor went on a sabbatical, he encouraged us to pray, and he gave us a recommended reading list. He asked the elders not to make a decision until he returned.

I read a very good book I chose for myself, Walking the Bridgeless Canyon, by Kathy Baldock. She used to believe that gays could not be Christian, but had a change of heart once she got to know the people she was judging and started researching the issues.

I watched videos discussing the six scriptures that are used to justify condemning homosexuality and why scholars have issues with how these scriptures were translated or applied to current times. I learned that the word “homosexual” wasn’t used in English translations of the Bible until 1946. I read what scientists and the medical profession have to say about homosexuality and intersex variations. This confirmed my belief that homosexuality and transgenderism are not a choice to disobey God.

My decision to leave my church over this came to me suddenly one night, again while I should have been sleeping! I could see clearly the hypocrisy in people who elevate a man who is anti-Christ while at the same time judging people who are not hurting anyone by being themselves. Of course, not everyone at church supports Trump, but the fact that anyone does is astounding.

When the pastor returned from his sabbatical, the elders met for the regular meeting, followed by a special meeting to decide on whether to begin the process of leaving the denomination. I prepared a resignation letter intending to hand it to the pastor and to let him tell the other elders. My husband wanted me to give the elders and pastors a piece of my mind! I prayed that I would know what to do and what to say.

The junior pastor tried to kick off a discussion preceding the vote, and people remained silent. So I spoke up. I told them that I had lost sleep over this issue. I told them I would be resigning from my leadership roles and would be leaving the church. My voice was shaky. My stomach was in knots. I was emotional. But I said what I needed to say.

When I stopped speaking, there was a moment of stunned silence. Then, the moderator expressed his sadness at my decision. The other elders then began sharing their own opinions. Every single person said something. A couple of people expressed appreciation for my honesty. Two people expressed their own doubts and reservations. A couple held firmly to the simple belief that “it is God’s word,” and we have an obligation to tell them (gays or transgenders who might attend the church). When the vote was taken, everyone but me voted to begin the formal discernment process required to disaffiliate. I abstained.

I will never be able to change the minds of the people in that room or have much of an effect on anyone in the church. The one thing that will result from the discussion is that the pastor will offer classes to help people understand. I wonder how biased they will be?

When I came home that night, my mind was still racing, and I didn’t sleep well. But the next day, I was at peace. I did the right thing, standing up for what I believe. God gave me the courage to speak and walk away.

Obey God rather than men

Romans 13 is used by “Christians” like Speaker Mike Johnson to silence dissent against the current administration. In this scripture, Apostle Paul said that everyone should submit to governing authorities because God established their authority.

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.

Romans 13:1

Paul’s statement assumes that governing authorities will do God’s will because God gave them authority. But what if they aren’t doing God’s will?

Paul made a blanket statement about submitting to authority that does not cover every situation. Most importantly, he did not address whether we should obey authorities who are not doing God’s will.

Questions should be asked.

Do government authorities act lawfully, upholding the laws established by the government they are supposed to represent? Are they acting ethically? Do they oppress the poor or mistreat the foreigners among us? Are they acting justly? Do they suppress free speech? Do they deny the right to due process of the law?

Are they doing God will?

If you look at Paul’s ministry, he clearly did not believe that a follower of Christ should blindly submit to government authority without question. Paul was accused of advocating customs that were unlawful for Romans. He was accused of teaching against the Roman people and laws. Yet he chose to defy the authorities by continuing to preach. He was imprisoned for not submitting to their authority.

Peter also said that you should submit to government authorities “for the Lord’s sake.”

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.

1 Peter 2: 13-14

But look at what Peter said when he was brought before the Sanhedrin to face the accusation of teaching in Christ’s name:

But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.”

Acts 5:28

We must obey God rather than man.

God is sovereign. He is the ultimate authority. His laws are supreme.

When Paul was jailed for spreading the gospel, the Lord said to him, “As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.” The Lord wanted him to continue spreading the gospel.

I am a law-abiding citizen, but I question governing authorities, especially when those authorities have no respect for the law or for what is right and just.

Does Donald J Trump act legally, following the laws established by the government? No. He is a man of lawlessness.

Does he act ethically? No. He is corrupt and amoral.

Does he oppress the poor? Yes. His economic policies further enrich the wealthy, taking funds from those who need it most.

Does he mistreat immigrants? Yes. He lies about them to spread fear and resentment. He sends them to detention centers where they are kept in poor conditions without medical care. He separates families and traumatizes children!

Does he act justly? No. He makes false accusations against his political opponents and seeks vengeance while pardoning criminals. He denies immigrants due process.

Does he deny people the right to speak? Yes. He silences the press, suing the media for perceived damages. He calls the press treasonous for speaking the truth.

Is Donald Trump doing God will? Absolutely not!

God’s will is that we love one another.

God’s will is that we live in peace.

God’s will is truth.

God’s will is justice.

God’s will is mercy.

God’s will is that we leave vengeance to him.

God’s will is that we serve others with humility.

Human laws and human authority are never above God’s laws and God’s authority. If something goes against God’s will, it’s time to disobey. If Jesus tells you to testify to the truth, it’s time to speak.

Staying sane in a crazy world

I think the United States has gone nuts. Seventy-seven million people decided that a convicted felon, a malignant narcissist, was fit to hold the nation’s highest office. They decided that personal character is irrelevant.

I’ve heard the word “unprecedented” used more in the last decade than I did in the previous five. These are crazy, upside down times.

Every day brings news that should be shocking but isn’t. Every day, the president says or does something that would have ended the career of a normal person. But he is not normal. He is amoral. His party exalts and protects him. So, with the support of his enablers, he continues to get away with corruption and lawlessness.

How do I keep from losing my mind when so many disturbing things are happening? How do I find contentment?

First and foremost, faith in God keeps me grounded. No matter what happens, God’s presence gives me comfort and peace. He is sufficient for all my needs.

My faith helps me keep current events in perspective. He is not the first man to do evil in the sight of the Lord. Although I want justice and accountability now, the wicked will not escape God’s justice. I also believe that God is working behind the scenes and that he has a plan.

Second, I am fortunate to live in a beautiful area. Spending time in nature brings me peace and a sense of wonder and joy. I go for walks and stop to look at wildflowers and enjoy the view. I pause to listen to birds singing or squirrels chattering.

No matter how messed up the world is, nature stays the same. The birds stick to their migration patterns. The flowers keep on blooming, and the birds keep on singing.

Third, I am not alone in my distress. I have found many like-minded people who care about truth, justice, and the well-being of others. I am not the only one who sees the foolishness in this administration’s disregard for the environment. I am not the only one who believes that immigrants deserve to be treated with compassion and dignity. I am not the only one who sees the government ignoring the needs of the poor and middle-class while further enriching millionaires.

Many people are shining a spotlight on the corruption and abuses of power. Independent media has been relentless in exposing the truth. Politicians are leaving the Republican party and speaking out against the behavior it supports and condones. Attorneys are filing lawsuits to uphold the laws. Pastors are speaking out about how un-Christ like evangelical “Christians” have become.

Finally, I have a life to live. It’s an ordinary life, but a good life. I have much to be grateful for – a good husband, family, friends, my health, and a home.

I have things to do that make a difference in the lives of others. I have things to say that may make a difference.

Finding the courage to use my voice…again

When I started blogging many years ago, I was an introvert trying to find my voice. Speaking spontaneously is not my strong suit. For years, I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to sound stupid. My introverted mind needs time to process my thoughts before I speak. Writing allows me to compose my thoughts and to express myself thoughtfully.

Unfortunately, something besides introversion is now keeping me from freely speaking my mind.

I live in a country that is extremely divided by politics and religious nationalism. Truth has been thrown to the ground. Evil is now called Good. Anyone who speaks out against the Trump regime risks being ridiculed, condemned, alienated, and even threatened.

These days, I often zip my lip to avoid antagonizing Trump supporters. It’s hard because silence in the face of evil is acquiescence at best. Some would say it is complicity.

Building a wall to protect myself

Several months ago, I put MAGA family members on a restricted friends list on Facebook. Restricted friends only see what I choose to make public, which primarily consists of pictures of nature.

I also put friends from church on this list because I don’t know whom I can trust. I have learned that many people who claim to be Christians are easily triggered by any criticisms of Trump.

Church is too often the most risky place to be spiritually honest.

Pete Enns, Author

Why restrict this subset of friends from seeing valid criticisms of Trump and the Republicans who enable him? I know that I will lose friends if I share my opposition to Trump. By building a wall, relationships have remained intact, but the friendships are not deep or genuine.

Ardent Trump supporters only see what they want to see and only hear what they want to hear. Their minds are closed. If I share posts that are critical of the Trump regime, I am unlikely to influence them. They have been misled by the media and by false teachers for years.

Understanding Cognitive Dissonance

I suspect that many MAGA Christians experience cognitive dissonance – the psychological tension caused when a person’s actions are not consistent with their beliefs. For example, if you believe that sexual assault is morally wrong, but you support an adjudicated rapist, your conscience should be troubled. You should feel uncomfortable. If you believe that judging people by the color of their skin is wrong but you support a racist, you should feel ashamed of yourself.

I used to think that when presented with facts, reasonable people would change their minds. I was wrong. Cognitive dissonance causes people to avoid sources of information that increase dissonance and seek sources, including conspiracy theories, that reduce dissonance.

Why is it so hard for Trump’s supporters to admit they are wrong about him? Why do they lie to themselves?

Because most people see themselves as good, smart, ethical and kind, when confronted with evidence that they did something bad, foolish, immoral or cruel, they tend to reduce dissonance not by changing their positive self-concept but by justifying their behavior.

Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, Brandeis Magazine

Social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliit Aronson say that “[s]elf-justification is the most common way of reducing dissonance whenever the self-concept is threatened.” When a person is emotionally invested in a movement or cause, they convince themselves that their actions are justified.

Little old me has no hope of getting through to MAGA friends and family. I feel like I have no choice but to separate myself from them. I pray that God will open up their eyes to the truth.

Finding allies

I still occasionally share political or religious posts on social media because I can’t pretend that these are normal times. Since I don’t knowingly share content with ardent Trump supporters anymore, I may be preaching to the choir.

Because there is so much opposition to Trump, I know that I am not alone. Two of my former pastors now speak out against Trump. I ran into a few people from church at the No Kings protests.

I admire the bravery of Christians who speak out frequently, like Amy Hawk, Paul Kahnke, and Jason Chukwuma. Others understanably choose to post anonymously, like a man who calls himself A Country Pastor.

Why do I want to speak out? What are my objectives?

  • demonstrate what it really means to follow Jesus
  • expose religious nationalism as heresy
  • protest against authoritarianism
  • expose corruption and abuses of power

Introversion no longer keeps me from sharing my thoughts. The problem now is that it feels like no one wants to listen. At this point, I lack the courage to risk losing more relationships. Ultimately, I have to be faithful to Christ, so I may eventually need to let these relationships go. I believe that God wants me to use my voice to speak the truth, not just about what I believe, but more importantly, about who He is.

Focus on Me

These are troubling times. If you are not disturbed, you’re not paying attention.

As a follower of Christ, there have been many times that I have wished for God to speak to me in a way that left no doubt that it was him. I have asked to hear his voice audibly, like Samuel did.

If you aren’t going to speak to me outloud, God, could you at least make it really clear that it is your voice in my head and not my own??

I no longer watch mainstream news on TV, but I watch YouTube videos and read content on Substack. People are obsessed with covering everything that DJT says and does, and not without reason. The things he does, the things he gets away with, are disturbing to anyone who still has a working moral compass. We want to shout it from the rooftops, “This is not normal! This is not right!”

And yet….because we pay so much attention to him, DJT sucks up all the oxygen in the room. That’s exactly what he wants. He believes he is the center of the universe and that everyone should exalt him.

Last week, I noticed that there was incessant speculation about DJT’s absence from the public eye. Was he sick? Was he dead? He says he wants to get to heaven! Is he sincere? Wait, he’s fundraising off of it!

In the midst of this, I heard the words, focus on me. Three simple words. Focus on me.

I have been encouraged this year by the 23rd Psalm. I’ve memorized and prayed it in the middle of the night. The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. No matter what happens, I belong to him. He is sufficient.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. No matter how dark things get, even when it seems like evil is winning, I need not fear because God walks with me. His presence comforts me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. My cup overflows. God provides everything I need. Even in the midst of adversity, even when the enemies of truth surround me, I rest in his protection.

Thank you, God, for reminding me that I need to keep my eyes on you and to listen for your voice. You are in control. You restore my soul.