Tag: Courage

A Prayer for My Calling and Contentment

On By Innermost BeingIn Prayer2 Comments

I am still slowly reading Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer (Priscilla Shirer). The chapter titled “Your Fears: Confronting Your Worries, Claiming Your Calling” was especially timely. As I read it, my church was going through a sermon series on being called – called to flourish, called to walk worthily, called to the cross, etc. I’ve been praying about my calling for years and at last, I am ready to claim it.

Strategy 6 – Against Your Calling

He (Satan) amplifies fear, worry, and anxiety until they’re the loudest voices in your head, causing you to deem the adventure of following God too risky to attempt.

Priscilla Shirer

Shirer began the chapter with a story about a friend who had been trying to decide whether she should cut back on her caseload as a counselor to follow a calling to write about her experiences. She was plagued with doubts and worries about what might happen. What if I can’t do it? What if it all ends up being a total waste of time and energy? What if it’s all just some sort of ego trip or head game, something I’m projecting onto myself?

In a really long sentenced that I’ve shortened, Shirer wrote, “if God has given you clear direction…and your only real reason for resisting Him is because you’re afraid of what following Him down this path might mean or cost or entail, then you’re not only on the threshold of being disobedient, you’re about to miss an opportunity to give God some fresh new glory by doing what He’s wanting to do through you…”

Unfortunately, there is no burning bush. It isn’t always easy to tell if God has given you clear direction, especially when you feel pulled in other directions and you keep hearing the voices of worry and self-doubt.

It is simplistic to suggest that fear of the unknown is the only reason for resisting God’s calling. Four years ago, I thought I was taking a leap of faith when I quit my job of eight years. I intended to begin a new chapter in my life. Instead, after a couple of months, I found another accounting job and I’m right back where I was, longing do something meaningful with the rest of my life. Here’s what I wrote at the time:

I find my desire for safety and security at war with my desire to do something more meaningful, something that fulfills and motivates me. I have battled to make the right decision even though my job has left me feeling trapped and unfulfilled.

In another chapter of Fervent, “Your Pressures: Reclaiming Peace, Rest and Contentment,” I found clues that explain my own resistance to God’s calling. In my 35 year career, I have felt pressure to keep doing, to keep performing, to keep achieving, to keep being the perfect employee, to keep bringing home the bacon.

Strategy 8 – Against Your Rest and Contentment

He (Satan) hopes to overload your life and schedule, pressuring you to constantly push beyond your limits, never feeling permission to say no.

Priscilla Shirer

In this chapter, Shirer wrote about the biblical command of the Sabbath. Why is it so hard, she asked, for some of us to rest, pull back, take a deep breath, and step away from our day-to-day responsibilities? She suggested that it is because we think the way a slave thinks. We’ve been trained to not say no. While I wouldn’t describe myself as a slave, I have felt like a person living in bondage, like I owe my employer a debt I can never pay off, like I can’t leave because people need me too much.

Fear and insecurity also play a role in the way we respond to the pressures of life. We worry about impressing people and proving our worth. We act as if the only way we can gain favor is to work and produce. We’re afraid we won’t have enough, won’t be enough, if we don’t keep going, pushing, achieving. Shirer wrote that the pressures we put on ourselves can be a sign of idolatry. We make idols out of our reputations, our achievements, our self-reliance.

Fear and insecurity have kept me from following God’s calling. The pressure to achieve and to please other people has kept me bound to my career.

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Lord Jesus,

Thank you for being patient with me as I struggle with my doubts and insecurities. Anyone else would have given up on me by now. You have always been faithful, never leaving my side. You are my hope and my strength.

Father, my pastor said that the more we get to know You, the better we will hear Your call. I pray this is so. It has been hard for me see the clear direction of Your calling when I keep hearing the voices of doubt and worry.

I can’t help but wonder if the persistent longings of my heart are You calling me. Why was I so obsessed with the desire to leave my home of thirty years to move to a state I had only visited once? Why, after thinking about moving for a couple of years, did I finally make the leap just a few months before the pandemic? And how can I explain the presence of people in my life who unknowingly gave me the courage to step out in faith?

Lord, Priscilla said that a free woman has the God-given ability to know when You are asking her to do something. A free woman has the discernment to know her limits and to know when she needs to pause. Thank you for giving me the clarity and the gentle nudge I need. I want to be free of the ties that bind me to my job.

Just as I felt a persistent yearning to move, I now feel a persistent longing to retire, to stop earning and achieving. The desire to do something more meaningful with my life, to be Your hands and feet, has not gone away. I can see now that by clinging to the attachments of this world, I am missing out on the opportunity to do what You want to do through me. Forgive me for resisting this yearning.

Lord Jesus, I am weary of working. I am ready to take your yoke upon me and to serve others for you. I pray for courage. I pray for the right timing. I pray that you will lead my employer to the right replacement.

Amen

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash

A Prayer for Courage

On By Innermost BeingIn Prayer2 Comments

I posted this prayer on my personal Facebook page on Monday, but share it here for anyone who needs the courage to take a step out of the boat.

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Dear God, I wanted to share a prayer publicly everyday and now I am struggling to do it. For one thing, it is against my introverted nature. I don’t like putting myself out there too much. It feels like I’ve fallen back into that old trap of worrying about what people think of me. I want to climb back into the safety of my shell. I’m also struggling to maintain optimism. Last night, as You know, I fell to sleep in tears.

I have never lost my hope but sometimes I feel down. I am sad about the people who are sick and about the people who are dying. It’s especially hard to hear about the death of a doctor or first responder. It makes me sad when I see friends who have to visit their elderly parents through a window. I worry about the economic impacts of this pandemic. And I get discouraged because so many people have been deceived and put their trust in people who put a positive spin on this.

Father, I listened to Pastor Andrew’s sermon with only half my attention Sunday morning, but something he said cut through to me. I had to listen to it again.

What’s the difference between a trip and a journey? A journey is long enough to have both ups and downs. We pack up our lives to look like a trip rather than a journey. Saving face. Speaking with impeccably polite language like you’re talking to your grandma when you’re at church but rage cursing when you are in traffic. (That was me, at least when I lived in Denver). Posting one life on social media like everything is okay but never sharing your real struggles with anyone important with you. (Ouch). It can be tempting to pretend like everything is okay. That we don’t feel the pains that are coming.

No matter what hits us, good or bad, we have the assurance that God is with us. Jesus, You didn’t promise to remove our daily trials. Our comfort is not in the absence of trials, it is in the presence of You. You are with us in the ups and downs.

God, I needed to hear that message. I pray for the courage to be authentic. To have the courage to take a step out of the boat and not be afraid to keep walking when the winds come. To put myself out there even if it is uncomfortable. To share both the good and the bad, my hope and my fears.

Amen.

The Good Lord’s Whistle

On By Innermost BeingIn Faith and CultureLeave a comment

At my church, we sing a prayer of illumination before the sermon asking God to make us receptive to the message he wants us to hear. Sometimes as I listen to the sermon, especially if I pick up on subtleties, I wonder how the message is received by others. Do they hear God’s whistle?

What I’m calling God’s whistle is a message from God that can only be heard by people who are receptive to hearing his voice. God whistles to his children to gather us in.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. (John 10:27-28)

A pastor is to be like a shepherd, helping and feeding the Lord’s sheep. Some pastors are false teachers who lead the flock astray. For pastors who are genuinely committed to following Jesus, it must be difficult to lead people who have fallen under the influence of deceptive, misleading voices. A pastor may have to be very subtle to get God’s message across to those who have been led astray.

A member of my church who is also a professor of theology delivered the sermon while our pastor was on a mission trip. He preached about the Hebrew word for the sin of rebelliousness against God, pesha. Dave said that among all religions, Christianity should be the most realistic about sin. Christians should call what is evil evil and what is good good. We should celebrate what is good and push back against evil. Christians today do not speak out against sin as they once did.

As Dr. Dave pointed out, we all sin and should focus our attention on our own sinfulness and not on the sin of others. After all, Jesus said, “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

It is difficult to speak out against sin because no one wants to be accused of being judgmental. But if we don’t speak out against evil, our silence sends the message that abhorrent behavior is acceptable.

It especially saddens me when Christians refuse to speak out against hate in all its forms. Silence in the face of evil is sinful. When we speak out against bigotry, racism, and other sins that harm others, we are being obedient to God. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German pastor and anti-Nazi dissident, said this:

Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.

Dr. Dave said that pesha is crossing boundaries – the boundaries that God placed on our behavior so that we could enjoy a healthy relationship with God and with others. He said that when wicked people are in power, pesha increases. Those who rebel against God have no fear of God. They do not submit to God’s authority. They selfishly assert themselves against God and his boundaries. They are hotheaded and angry.

When I heard Dr. Dave’s message, I hoped that those who have turned a blind eye to wickedness would hear God’s whistle. God has shown us what is good. When we see behavior that is evil, we should speak up. Watch out for wicked people in power who have crossed God’s boundaries.

Let us be strong, courageous, and obedient. Call what is evil evil. Call what is good good. Hate is evil. Love is good. If you hear God’s whistle, you know this. Fighting is evil. Peacefulness is good. If you hear the good Lord’s voice, you know this. Lies are evil. Truth is good. If you hear God’s voice, you know this.

Finding the courage to let go

On By Innermost BeingIn Word PromptsLeave a comment

I confess that I feel a bit guilty about unfriending people on social media, even if the relationships are superficial. But I think that when you get older, you realize that you don’t have the time for drama. You don’t see the point of wasting your emotional energy on battles you cannot win.

At the beginning of the year, after reading a book on spiritual maturity, I resolved to be more authentic. That meant being free to be me without worrying about what people think of me. Something interesting happened when I decided to be the real me. In letting go of my need to be accepted by others, I found the courage to let go of people whose worldviews are diametrically opposed to mine.

While I can still accept the people I can not change, I accept that sometimes there are irreconcilable differences, as in views on gun control, or the freedom to protest peacefully, or on immigration or the separation of church and state. The religious and political environment we live in highlights the great divide between us.

Facebook made it easy to establish a social connection with classmates or relatives. But if I am honest with myself, I don’t have much in common with many of them. I am no longer willing to pretend that we have anything meaningful in common. We don’t even share the same zip code.

Guilt, with the click of a button, I’m letting you go too. And I won’t even say goodbye.

via Daily Prompt: Guilty