Courage to speak my mind and walk away

I have been going to the same church for about seven years. The church’s stated mission is good: Elevate Jesus, Empower People, and Embody Love. The sermon messages are consistent with the gospel. The church is small enough that I’ve gotten to know a lot of people. I have been making a difference serving as the treasurer and as an elder.

Although I became a member, I never felt like I connected because, as a Never Trumper, I am in the minority. It’s clear that a lot of people in the church support DJT even though his behavior and words are the complete opposite of Jesus, the one we are supposed to follow. A “friend” from church insulted me on social media because I criticized the Trump administration. I do not know who to trust, so I rarely feel free to express my opinions.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Unfortunately, my peace and limited sense of belonging were destroyed when the church began discussing whether to leave the PC(USA) denomination due to its affirmation of LGBTQIA+ individuals. The pastor says that sexual orientation and gender identity are not his only issues with the denomination. But it is clear that the denomination’s willingness to ordain LGBTQIA+ individuals and to allow them to marry drives the church’s desire to pursue leaving it.

Years before the pastor brought this issue up, I tried to reconcile the scriptures that say that homosexuality is a sin with my belief in science AND in the merciful God who created all human beings. 

For weeks, I wrestled with the church’s position on sexual orientation and gender identity, usually at night when I should have been sleeping.

Before the pastor went on a sabbatical, he encouraged us to pray, and he gave us a recommended reading list. He asked the elders not to make a decision until he returned.

I read a very good book I chose for myself, Walking the Bridgeless Canyon, by Kathy Baldock. She used to believe that gays could not be Christian, but had a change of heart once she got to know the people she was judging and started researching the issues.

I watched videos discussing the six scriptures that are used to justify condemning homosexuality and why scholars have issues with how these scriptures were translated or applied to current times. I learned that the word “homosexual” wasn’t used in English translations of the Bible until 1946. I read what scientists and the medical profession have to say about homosexuality and intersex variations. This confirmed my belief that homosexuality and transgenderism are not a choice to disobey God.

My decision to leave my church over this came to me suddenly one night, again while I should have been sleeping! I could see clearly the hypocrisy in people who elevate a man who is anti-Christ while at the same time judging people who are not hurting anyone by being themselves. Of course, not everyone at church supports Trump, but the fact that anyone does is astounding.

When the pastor returned from his sabbatical, the elders met for the regular meeting, followed by a special meeting to decide on whether to begin the process of leaving the denomination. I prepared a resignation letter intending to hand it to the pastor and to let him tell the other elders. My husband wanted me to give the elders and pastors a piece of my mind! I prayed that I would know what to do and what to say.

The junior pastor tried to kick off a discussion preceding the vote, and people remained silent. So I spoke up. I told them that I had lost sleep over this issue. I told them I would be resigning from my leadership roles and would be leaving the church. My voice was shaky. My stomach was in knots. I was emotional. But I said what I needed to say.

When I stopped speaking, there was a moment of stunned silence. Then, the moderator expressed his sadness at my decision. The other elders then began sharing their own opinions. Every single person said something. A couple of people expressed appreciation for my honesty. Two people expressed their own doubts and reservations. A couple held firmly to the simple belief that “it is God’s word,” and we have an obligation to tell them (gays or transgenders who might attend the church). When the vote was taken, everyone but me voted to begin the formal discernment process required to disaffiliate. I abstained.

I will never be able to change the minds of the people in that room or have much of an effect on anyone in the church. The one thing that will result from the discussion is that the pastor will offer classes to help people understand. I wonder how biased they will be?

When I came home that night, my mind was still racing, and I didn’t sleep well. But the next day, I was at peace. I did the right thing, standing up for what I believe. God gave me the courage to speak and walk away.

Preparing to tell my story

I have been staying after church for a group study on “everyday evangelism,” which made me think about my faith story. I’ve shared some of what follows before on my blog but have never spoken about it publicly.

Salvation

Dad always took us kids to church. Mom stayed home. She grew up going to church like he did, so I didn’t understand why she didn’t come with us.

When I was about nine years old, my Sunday school teacher led me to faith in Jesus. I don’t recall the Bible story. I don’t recall the words of her invitation. I don’t remember the words of my response. But for years, I could remember the feeling of joy.

In retrospect, I can see that God’s timing was perfect. The hardest years of my life were ahead of me, but I had a faithful friend with me. My faith gave me hope.

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…

1 Peter 3:15

I started reading the Bible every day. In sixth grade, I went to AWANA Bible studies. I was active in Youth for Christ until we moved after my sophomore year.

Meanwhile, my home life was tumultuous. My parents argued and even separated a couple of times. I thought they were arguing about the lack of money because there were too many mouths to feed.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was twelve. Mom got custody of the seven of us. Dad moved to another city and remarried within a year or so.

We kids continued to go to church on our own.

The year after the divorce, Mom had another baby. We questioned her about the father. He was someone we knew; my older sister and I babysat his children a few times. Mom managed to keep their relationship a secret.

I was afraid people would find out that our mother had a child outside of marriage and that they would judge us. So when asked about my family – even years later – I pretended that my dad was the father of all of us.

After the divorce, Mom was free to do whatever she wanted. She had a few more sexual relationships, but they were no longer a secret. In pursuing those relationships, she made decisions that were not in our best interests.

Mom told us that Dad had a vasectomy after their fourth child, but that it obviously didn’t work since they had three more kids. I learned the truth as an adult. Mom told my younger sister, child number five, that her father was a coworker who had raped her. She also told the next two kids who their real fathers were.

Knowing what happened to my mom when she was a young mother, I could better understand the choices she made. I can imagine why she wasn’t comfortable in church. I know she felt some shame, or she wouldn’t have lied and kept so many secrets.

The Other Prodigal Daughter

Mom was clearly not a good example for us kids to follow. All three of my younger sisters got pregnant in high school.

I was determined to go to college and make a better life for myself, so I didn’t take any chances. But in a way, I followed in my mother’s footsteps. When I moved away to college, I stopped going to church. I gave into temptations.

I met my husband at my first job after college. He was not a believer. His family did not go to church. I knew that the Bible says not to be unequally yoked, but I told myself it was okay. He is a good man.

The Prodigal Daughter Returns

In the years that I didn’t go to church, I missed it. I knew I should start going again. But it took something shocking to get me back.

We lived in a suburb of Denver. On April 20, 1999, two high school students murdered a teacher and several students at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. I was devastated. I couldn’t imagine what would make kids do something so evil.

I needed to be with other people of faith. I went to the church that I often drove by,  Hope United Methodist. It was comforting to be with people who shared my faith in God.

My faith story is a long one. It has its ups and downs. It shows that when you belong to Jesus, he will never let you go.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.

John 10:27-29

God loves me just as I am – flawed, selfish, struggling to be good. No matter how messed up I am, He sees a person worthy of mercy and forgiveness.

I have hope because God is good all the time. I have hope because He is in control. He is faithful; he has been with me through all the storms of my life. He will not let me go.

Staying sane in a crazy world

I think the United States has gone nuts. Seventy-seven million people decided that a convicted felon, a malignant narcissist, was fit to hold the nation’s highest office. They decided that personal character is irrelevant.

I’ve heard the word “unprecedented” used more in the last decade than I did in the previous five. These are crazy, upside down times.

Every day brings news that should be shocking but isn’t. Every day, the president says or does something that would have ended the career of a normal person. But he is not normal. He is amoral. His party exalts and protects him. So, with the support of his enablers, he continues to get away with corruption and lawlessness.

How do I keep from losing my mind when so many disturbing things are happening? How do I find contentment?

First and foremost, faith in God keeps me grounded. No matter what happens, God’s presence gives me comfort and peace. He is sufficient for all my needs.

My faith helps me keep current events in perspective. He is not the first man to do evil in the sight of the Lord. Although I want justice and accountability now, the wicked will not escape God’s justice. I also believe that God is working behind the scenes and that he has a plan.

Second, I am fortunate to live in a beautiful area. Spending time in nature brings me peace and a sense of wonder and joy. I go for walks and stop to look at wildflowers and enjoy the view. I pause to listen to birds singing or squirrels chattering.

No matter how messed up the world is, nature stays the same. The birds stick to their migration patterns. The flowers keep on blooming, and the birds keep on singing.

Third, I am not alone in my distress. I have found many like-minded people who care about truth, justice, and the well-being of others. I am not the only one who sees the foolishness in this administration’s disregard for the environment. I am not the only one who believes that immigrants deserve to be treated with compassion and dignity. I am not the only one who sees the government ignoring the needs of the poor and middle-class while further enriching millionaires.

Many people are shining a spotlight on the corruption and abuses of power. Independent media has been relentless in exposing the truth. Politicians are leaving the Republican party and speaking out against the behavior it supports and condones. Attorneys are filing lawsuits to uphold the laws. Pastors are speaking out about how un-Christ like evangelical “Christians” have become.

Finally, I have a life to live. It’s an ordinary life, but a good life. I have much to be grateful for – a good husband, family, friends, my health, and a home.

I have things to do that make a difference in the lives of others. I have things to say that may make a difference.

Faith is Key to a Life Without Lack

In Life Without Lack: Living in the Fullness of Psalm 23, Dallas Willard said that before we can fully experience the sufficiency of God, three things must be at work in us: faith, death to self, and agape love. In the chapter titled Trust in God: The Key to Life, Willard wrote about faith.

What is faith? One of my favorite explanations is found in the book of Hebrews.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

Hebrews 11:1-3 NIV

I don’t have to see God or hear him speak outloud to believe that he exists. I am assured of his existence from the visible things he created.

But faith is more than believing.

Willard noted that faith combines love with the desire for good. A desperate father came to Jesus and asked him to free his son from an impure spirit (Mark 9:14-29). His love for his son was combined with the desire for good.

Some people view faith as superstition. The truth is we all have faith in something. “Faith is simply reliance upon something in both attitude and action.”  You can’t get through life without faith or confidence “that things will be a certain way and what you desire will come to be.” Even non-believers have faith that they can rely on other people or on ordinary everyday things.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is credited with saying that faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase. Several years ago, I acted with faith to quit a miserable job when I didn’t have another job lined up. I had confidence that God would work things out for my good. He did.

Faith goes hand in hand with having a future. The psalmist looked to the future when he said, “Surely your goodness and love will follow me all of my days, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Faith has two parts: vision and desire. We see reality as it is and picture what it could be in the future. We hope for what can be. 

Faith comes from hearing about God’s goodness and faithfulness.

Consequently faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the preached word of Christ.

Romans 10:17 NET

Faith is a gift that comes to those who seek. “You will seek Me and find Me , when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

When you have faith, it doesn’t mean you never have doubt. We can admit our doubts openly and honestly. Jesus said, “Everything is possible for one who believes,” to which the desperate father  replied, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” (Mark 9:23-24)

Faith is not stagnant. We can lose our faith when something bad happens. Pain and suffering can also deepen our faith. Willard used the story of Job to explain three different types of faith.

  • Faith of propriety
  • Faith of desperation
  • Faith of sufficiency

Faith of Propriety

Initially, Job trusted God to be good to him if he lived a proper, godly life. But he did not have peace in his faith. He feared that God would “take down the hedge of protection” that surrounded him. He trusted in his own propriety more than he trusted in God’s goodness.

People with this kind of faith believe you must perform in a certain way and always get things right to earn God’s favor. They believe that God is looking down on them to make sure they are behaving.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to do right! But things can go wrong for us even if we do everything right, even if we are perfectly righteous.

Faith of Desperation

When Job lost everything – his family, his possessions, and his health – his faith became a faith of desperation. His desperate situation led him to a place of need. God showed up in his misery. Job said, “I’ve heard about you, but now I’ve seen you.”

Faith of desperation is trusting in God when things are shaky. It is crying out to him when you have nowhere else to turn. It is trusting in God in your moment of need. It is saying, “Whatever happens, I will trust You.”

I’ve been there – in a place of desperation, where God was my only hope. I cast my cares on him and drew strength from him. Faith puts you into contact with God so you can draw on his resources.

Faith of Sufficiency

Job struggled to make sense out of his suffering and loss. He eventually stopped trying to get God to make everything right. He saw the glory, the greatness, and the sufficiency of God.

The 23rd Psalm is a testament to faith. David, the psalmist, believed that God would provide everything he needed, physically and spiritually. The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing…. He restores my soul… He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Focus on Me

These are troubling times. If you are not disturbed, you’re not paying attention.

As a follower of Christ, there have been many times that I have wished for God to speak to me in a way that left no doubt that it was him. I have asked to hear his voice audibly, like Samuel did.

If you aren’t going to speak to me outloud, God, could you at least make it really clear that it is your voice in my head and not my own??

I no longer watch mainstream news on TV, but I watch YouTube videos and read content on Substack. People are obsessed with covering everything that DJT says and does, and not without reason. The things he does, the things he gets away with, are disturbing to anyone who still has a working moral compass. We want to shout it from the rooftops, “This is not normal! This is not right!”

And yet….because we pay so much attention to him, DJT sucks up all the oxygen in the room. That’s exactly what he wants. He believes he is the center of the universe and that everyone should exalt him.

Last week, I noticed that there was incessant speculation about DJT’s absence from the public eye. Was he sick? Was he dead? He says he wants to get to heaven! Is he sincere? Wait, he’s fundraising off of it!

In the midst of this, I heard the words, focus on me. Three simple words. Focus on me.

I have been encouraged this year by the 23rd Psalm. I’ve memorized and prayed it in the middle of the night. The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. No matter what happens, I belong to him. He is sufficient.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. No matter how dark things get, even when it seems like evil is winning, I need not fear because God walks with me. His presence comforts me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. My cup overflows. God provides everything I need. Even in the midst of adversity, even when the enemies of truth surround me, I rest in his protection.

Thank you, God, for reminding me that I need to keep my eyes on you and to listen for your voice. You are in control. You restore my soul.