Innermost Being Blog

Don’t be a stranger

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

I went on a business trip last week and had interesting interactions with strangers. My relative ease at talking with them made me realize how much I have changed with the passage of time. I was painfully shy as a child. At sixty, I’m becoming like my grandfather, who chatted easily with everyone.

On my first flight, I sat next to two women who were within a year or two of my age. We quickly connected over shared interests and exchanged phone numbers. It felt like a serendipitous encounter.

In Phoenix, I went for a walk alone one morning on a path next to the canal. I was listening to birds as I walked. I saw a woman tossing seeds next to some shrubs, so I asked her what she was feeding. Quail, she said. Then she showed me a picture of a bobcat she had taken one day in the shrubs. At the end of my walk, I spotted a bunch of quail myself.

I chatted with the taxi driver who took me to the airport for my return flight. I initiated the conversation. He had such a philosophical outlook on life.

I spent the night in Denver because my flight was canceled due to the weather. This morning, I had a great conversation with the young Lyft driver from Tennessee, who picked me up at 5 am. He said I was one of the most talkative people he had driven that early in the morning.

And there was the woman I talked to last night as we waited to talk to an airline agent. We both felt invisible when a man ignored our place in line.

And there was the young man from North Dakota I spoke to this morning as we waited by the customer service gate. He recognized me from the Phoenix flight.

And there were two people at my gate who looked familiar to me. Both go to my church.

With the passage of time, I can see that life is short. I have something in common with many people I don’t know. What do I have to lose by being friendly? I hope I brightened someone’s day by not being a stranger.

Do something with old cards and letters

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

I found an article on the Hallmark website that begins, “If you’ve got a shoe box full of old cards and letters, you’re definitely not alone. People have been stashing away meaningful notes from loved ones since forever…”

A shoe box? How about two full bankers boxes?

I’m pretty good at getting rid of clothes I no longer wear and household items I no longer use. It’s harder for me to get rid of cards and letters from friends and loved ones. In the last few years, I have thrown out some of the cards, but I still have work to do. I can say that I’ve at least taken the time to organize the cards into folders.

In the age of scanners, there’s no reason to hang onto every card my loved ones ever sent me.

I have cards and letters from loved ones who have passed away – both of my grandmothers, my mom and dad, my mother and father-in-law, and aunts and uncles. I have cards and letters from my brothers and sisters, especially the three closest to me in age. I have letters from my childhood pen pal and from classmates.

One of my aunts recently passed away, and my cousin sent a couple of boxes of pictures and other items that once belonged to our grandmother. My siblings divided up the momentos, which included a framed collection of cards.

A couple of years ago, my childhood pen pal gave me a few letters I had written. It was like opening a time capsule!

One of these days, I will go through my boxes again, relive some memories, and figure out what to do with my old cards and letters. Besides scanning my favorites, I can donate some for crafting projects and give a few to relatives.

Ultimately, don’t sweat tossing notes, cards, and postcards into the recycling bin—it’s not a statement about how you feel about the person. You appreciated the card at the time. You still appreciate the person.

Katie Clemons, The Art of Simple

My help comes from You

by Innermost Being, posted in Prayer

The sermon at my church on Sunday was about anxiety, which also happens to be the topic of a self-help book I am reading. I get anxious sometimes, but I have learned where to get help.

When I am anxious, one of my favorite Bible verses comes to mind.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

My pastor said that we should not be ashamed of being anxious. It’s not that we should never be anxious, but that we shouldn’t continuously be anxious.

This verse tells me to give my worries to God. He is with me in my struggles. He will help me get through the storms of life.

The words of the King and Country song, Shoulders, remind me that God is pulling me through the hard times:

When I’m caught deep in the valley
With chaos for my company
I’ll find my comfort here
‘Cause I know that You are near

My help comes from You
You’re right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness
All on Your shoulders
Your shoulders

This song was on the radio a lot several years ago when I was stressed about work. I would wake up worrying and then sing this song in my head.

This verse also tells me to give thanks. I thank God because I remember when He pulled me through my struggles.

Freely share my views with others

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I had trouble finding the words to name my fear. At first, I thought about saying “public speaking,” but I know I can conquer this fear when I need to. Then I thought, “fear of offending people.” But it’s really more about a fear of putting people with different views than me on the defensive. The truth is that I don’t want to alienate people by expressing my opinions.

Sitting on the plane today, reading Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion (Dr. Wendy Suzuki), I read a description of a man she called Lavon who was involved in local politics.

He loved talking to people, sharing his stories and insights, and especially loved talking to people on the fence or those who held opposing views. He had a talent for open discussion with anyone with any view and enjoyed rather than shied away from it. He didn’t need to “win” the conversation.

Dr. Wendy Suzuki

Dr. Suzuki said that Lavon was a nervous kid who channeled his energy into sports. In college, he struggled with anxiety and withdrew from his teammates on the college basketball team. Lavon reached out to his coach for help. Grateful for the help he received during a difficult time, he wanted to make a difference in the world. As Suzuki put it, he put his empathy into action.

I don’t want to shy away from open discussion about controversial subjects. What would it take for me to freely share my views with others? Perhaps I need to change my mindset. It’s not about changing the other person’s mind. It’s about learning about each other and finding common ground.

It’s about putting empathy into action.

The aches and pains of aging

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

What do you complain about the most?

I am sixty years old, and my body is showing the natural signs of aging. It seems like I complain on a daily basis about one ache or another – my knees, my back, my shoulder. I don’t want to be one of those people who constantly complain about aches and pains and don’t do anything about them. Well, I really don’t want to be one of those people who complains constantly, period.

Here are a few of the ways I address my complaints:

Exercise. Exercise is great for cardiovascular health, but it also strengthens your bones and muscles. I have osteopenia, a condition less severe than osteoporosis. Weight-bearing exercises help preserve my bone density.

Supplements. I take a multivitamin every day, as well as calcium and vitamin D3 supplements for my osteopenia. I consume some dairy every day, but not enough. I live in a northern state, so I don’t get enough vitamin D naturally.

Rest, ice, support. Exercise is important for overall health, but sometimes you have to rest painful joints. Tendinitis is one of those times. I tend to get tendinitis 😉 in my elbows and wrist. Another common complaint of aging is osteoarthritis. We keep ice packs in the freezer. I wear compression sleeves for my knees.

Prevention. Last summer, I fell while trail running at a runners club race. I have fallen many times before and only sustained minor injuries. This time, I fell on my right shoulder, fracturing and dislocating it. Knowing that I’m injury prone and imagining how much worse my fall could have been, the smart thing for me is to do is to stop doing this risky thing.

Acceptance. This is probably the hardest. It’s hard to accept that you can’t do the things you once did. See above. I don’t want to stop running on trails, but I accept that it’s for my own good.

It’s also hard to accept the fact that you can’t fix everything. I consulted a specialist about painful swelling in my ring finger. I injured it years ago, falling in an exercise class. Now I have arthritis and a swollen, ugly knuckle. My hope was that surgery could fix my joint. The doctor said that surgery would not make it better. His advice was to use pain medication. Basically, deal with it.

Aging is not for sissies. It comes with aches and pains. It comes with disappointment at not being able to do what your young body could do. But there are many benefits to staying physically active as long as possible!

I can’t end a post about complaining without an expression of gratitude. I am grateful that I’ve reached this age. I am grateful to be healthy. I am grateful that I can get up and move!