Innermost Being Blog

Into your hands, I commit my spirit

My church has been studying the gospel of Luke for well over a year and we are finally at the end of a very rewarding journey. The focus of a recent lesson on Luke 23:44-49 was the words Jesus spoke before he died on the cross. Luke recounted Christ’s words as a quote from Psalm 31:5: “Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit.” These words are quite different from the last words of Jesus found in the gospels of Matthew and Mark.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?

Psalm 22:1

Jesus felt both anguish and trust in his last moments. Anguish because he suffered on the cross for the sins of man; trust because he knew that God would deliver him.

My pastor told us that the words of Jesus on the cross were not a prayer of preparation for death but an expression of trust. Jesus trusted the Father with his life. These words – into your hands, I commit my spirit – are not famous last words but famous first words.

Jesus knew the scriptures and committed them to heart.

1 In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
    let me never be put to shame;
    deliver me in your righteousness.
Turn your ear to me,
    come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
    a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress,
    for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
    for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit;
    deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.

Psalm 31:1-5

What if I were to pray these words daily? Father, into your hands, I commit my (living) spirit. Deliver me, Lord, my faithful God. Deliver me from the challenges I face this day. Deliver me from temptation. Lead me and guide me. I take refuge in you, Father! You are my rock and fortress.

My pastor said, practice makes permanent. When we make reading and praying scripture a daily practice, we will remember it when we need it most. We will all be shaken by difficulties in life. When we are shaken, whatever we are filled with comes out. Fill your mind with the word of God.

Finally, let difficult times draw you near to God, not push you away. Don’t take things into your own hands. Put your life in God’s hands. You can trust him.

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Photo by Ricardo Moura on Unsplash

Who’s the old lady?

Who's the old lady in the mirror
with the frizzy, graying hair?
Her appearance is so unexpected,
she's given me quite a scare.

Who's the old lady in the mirror
with my mama's jowls and eyes?
Her face is so much like my own,
it has taken me by surprise!

Who's the old lady in the mirror
with the waddle in her neck?
She's much older than I feel inside.
I think to myself, what the heck!

I smile at the lady in the mirror.
Her smile matches mine to a tee.
I see the gentle spirit in her eyes;
This old lady is beautiful to me.

Responding to uncertainty

Uncertainty is a fact of life. I’m reminded of the saying: nothing is certain but death and taxes. These days, things that I once saw as certainties – like America’s democracy or ample supplies of goods and services –  are not certain anymore. I never imagined that I would live through a global pandemic or an attempt to prevent the peaceful transfer of power from one U.S. president to the next. Yet here we are.

Uncertainty was the topic of a recent sermon at my church. After the last supper, the disciples argued about which of them was the greatest (Luke 22:24-30). Jesus had just told them that he would suffer and that one of them would betray him. The disciples initially responded to this uncertainty with pride and self-interest.

The message of the sermon was that uncertain times reveal three things about us: our desires, our certainties, and our purpose. I would add that the way we respond to uncertainty reveals a lot about our character.

Some of us have a desire to be first. Some of us have a desire for control. Some of us desire what’s best for others. Some of us want what is best for ourselves. Some of us want God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Some of us don’t want anyone on earth or in heaven to tell us what to do.

What do your desires say about your character? Are you proud or humble, selfish or selfless, judgmental or forgiving? How do you react when your desires aren’t fulfilled? With fear, anger, worry, resignation, hope, resolve?

What are your certainties – besides death and taxes? How about the laws of nature or a friend who would never let you down?

I am certain of Christ’s immeasurable love for me. I am certain that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I am certain that he is with me. I am certain that he will work things out for my good. I am certain of eternal life.

My pastor said that in uncertain times, our purpose is revealed when we model Jesus. Jesus served others. He didn’t put himself first even though he had the power to do so. He didn’t avoid pain and suffering but took it on for our sake. He was merciful and compassionate.

My pastor said that the battle ahead is not a physical fight; it is internal. We all feel the angst. We need to be on guard. We need to prepare our hearts and minds for the challenges ahead.

I believe that the forces of evil in this world are using their most effective tool – deception – to wreak havoc and sow division. Look at all the people today who fall for conspiracy theories!

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

I can attest that uncertainty causes internal struggles. The recent decision by the U.S Supreme Court to overturn Roe vs Wade is a perfect example. My desire is that there be fewer abortions because I believe that life is a precious gift from God. At the same time, I have compassion for people who don’t have a relationship with God. I want them to see Christ in me. To model Jesus, my response has to be compassion and mercy not condemnation and judgment.

My pastor left us with a few questions. Do your desires align with God’s? Of what can you be certain? What purpose might God yet reveal?

Season of Singing

In another life, I would have been a botanist. In this life, I am merely a fan of wildflowers. The unfamiliar lexicon of botany makes plant descriptions read like a cross between a scientific journal and a tantalizing novel.

I have learned to identify dozens of wildflowers, primarily found on hiking/biking trails. I also find wildflowers in roadside ditches, in vacant lots, and even in my own back yard. Because I am always seeking, I notice any little speck of color or interesting leaves that don’t seem to catch the eye of other people.

As a kid, I learned that thistles had to be controlled on farmland because they were invasive. Now I know that many weeds are labeled noxious – any invasive, non-native plant that threatens crops, wildlife habitats, or other local ecosystems.

This month, I have been squeezing through the barbed wire fence separating my yard from a pasture to dig up noxious weeds so they don’t spread to our yard. Until last year, the pasture behind us was owned by an old rancher who leased the land for cattle grazing. He sold forty acres to the local school district, which has no immediate plans to build on it.

Common mullein and houndstongue are two examples of invasive plants that grow in the pasture. According to the Wisconsin Horticulture description of mullein, “Individual plants produce 200-300 seed capsules, each containing 500-800 seeds, so that 100,000‑240,000 seeds are produced per plant.” Houndstongue does not produce as many seeds as mullein (only 2,000 seeds per plant) but it is toxic to livestock and wildlife.

A couple of weeks ago while digging up houndstongue, I saw a plant with hairy leaves that I recognized from my days searching for wildflowers in Colorado. I tried unsuccessfully to identify it with a plant app so I turned to my own photo collection. I remember struggling to identify the plant when I first saw it. Someone said it was spearshaped phacelia, a member of the Boraginaceae family. It is actually Western Marbleseed, another member of the borage family, described in detail on the IllinoisWildflowers website:

Each flower has a white corolla that is ½–¾” long, a hairy green calyx with 5 slender lobes, 5 inserted stamens, and a pistil with a strongly exerted white style. The corolla is cylindrical-angular in shape, becoming slightly and gradually wider toward its tip. At the tip of the corolla, there are 5 triangular lobes that extend outward and inward, effectively closing off the opening of the corolla, except for the exerted style. These lobes are often tinted green or yellow. The outer sides of the corolla are densely canescent, except where its lobes occur; the latter are hairy throughout. The lobes of the calyx are linear-lanceolate to linear-oblong in shape. Including its lobes, the calyx is about two-thirds as long as the corolla. The pedicels of the flowers are up to ¼” long (rarely longer); they are whitish green, terete, appressed-pubescent, and covered with appressed to slightly spreading hairs. At the bases of these pedicels, there are solitary bracts up to 1″ long that resemble the leaves….

Corollas and calyxes and pistils, oh my!

I also saw something purple peeking through the tall grass and weeds. This time, the plant app correctly identified the flower as spiderwort. When the flowers opened the following week, I confirmed this ID. What a shame that this beautiful flower is hidden in the weeds. And how delightful that beauty can be found by those who actively seek it!

Why am I so enamored with wildflowers? The beauties catch my eye but it’s more than beauty that attracts me. It’s their uniqueness and diversity. It’s their resilience, the ability to thrive in less than desirable conditions. Flowers are evidence of God’s creativity.

The fields declare the glory of God; the flowers proclaim the work of his hands.

Flowers appear on the earth;
    the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
    is heard in our land.

Song of Songs, 2:12

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

Lord, I seek your face. My heart has heard you say, ‘Come talk with me,’ and my heart responds, ‘Lord, here I am.’

Father, you light the way in a world that is dark and bewildering. I am safe and secure with you as my refuge. You rescued me from the bondage of sin and I am forever yours.

Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

Psalm 86:11

Nations are in uproar; kingdoms fall. Though the world shows signs of falling apart, I rest assured. You are my ever-present help in times of trouble. The Lord Almighty is with me. Of whom shall I be afraid?

You will be exalted among the nations. You will be exalted on the earth. You lift your voice and the earth melts. Whom shall I fear?

I will not fear the future, for you are with me. I will not be distressed about current events, for you are my God. You will strengthen me. You will help me. You will uphold me with your righteous right hand.

No matter what happens, I am still sure of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Your perfect love drives out my fears. I praise your holy name.

Lord, my light and my salvation, I pray that the horrific events around the globe will lead people to seek your light. Comfort those who mourn senseless violence. Fill your people with wisdom, courage, and hope.

Amen

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Based on Psalm 27, Psalm 46, Isaiah 41:10, 1 John 4:18