First John 3:1 says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”
Because I am a child of God…
I am a child of the promise.
I am beloved.
I am forgiven.
I am no longer a slave to sin.
I am no longer alone.
I am joyful.
I am led by his Spirit.
I love as I have been loved.
This month, I ran a 6.5 mile leg of a marathon relay. After three or four miles, I noticed that the refrain of 500 Miles (I’m Gonna Be) was playing in my head – the only words I knew. Later, I looked up the lyrics. At all times, no matter what the singer is doing, he is so devoted to the one he loves that he’ll go twice the distance.
Before this song got stuck in my head, I had been thinking about writing a retrospective post about the past 500 days – about the spiritual angst I feel as a follower of Christ living under the Trump presidency. But the song made me think that I should be looking forward and not backward.
Before I ran my relay, I went through several weeks of training to improve my speed and endurance. When we all finished, everyone of us got a medal, just like those who ran the whole distance.
I am not running to get a medal that will not last. My reward is eternal life with Jesus.
I confess that I feel a bit guilty about unfriending people on social media, even if the relationships are superficial. But I think that when you get older, you realize that you don’t have the time for drama. You don’t see the point of wasting your emotional energy on battles you cannot win.
At the beginning of the year, after reading a book on spiritual maturity, I resolved to be more authentic. That meant being free to be me without worrying about what people think of me. Something interesting happened when I decided to be the real me. In letting go of my need to be accepted by others, I found the courage to let go of people whose worldviews are diametrically opposed to mine.
While I can still accept the people I can not change, I accept that sometimes there are irreconcilable differences, as in views on gun control, or the freedom to protest peacefully, or on immigration or the separation of church and state. The religious and political environment we live in highlights the great divide between us.
Facebook made it easy to establish a social connection with classmates or relatives. But if I am honest with myself, I don’t have much in common with many of them. I am no longer willing to pretend that we have anything meaningful in common. We don’t even share the same zip code.
Guilt, with the click of a button, I’m letting you go too. And I won’t even say goodbye.
When I make an assumption, I accept that something is true without proof. When I make an educated guess, I have some knowledge about what to expect so my assumption is likely to be correct. Unfortunately, my assumptions are often broken. Sometimes my trust is misplaced. Sometimes, I expect a certain outcome because I wrongly assume that other people share my values or expectations.
I learned this lesson several years ago at my job. I have a strong work ethic. I go to work to work. I assumed that my boss also had a work ethic and that all employees would be held accountable to the same standards. I was wrong. I learned that he cared more about being seen as a nice guy by my slacker coworker than about making sure the work got done.
I used to assume that our democracy was strong. I believed that our elections were legitimate. I believed that my vote matters. I believed that the separation of powers would prevent one branch of government from overreaching. I was wrong.
I used to assume that facts and truth matter to everyone. I was wrong. Conspiracy theories abound. Untruthful people peddle “alternative facts” and people continue to listen to them. The president lies several times a day and his supporters don’t care. Individuals adapt not only to their own dishonesty but also to that of others.
I used to assume that Christians cared about immorality – the aforementioned lack of honesty, for example. As a Matthew 25 Christian, I assumed that Christians cared about the “least of these.” I accepted as true that followers of Jesus would care about refugees, immigrants, the uninsured, etc. I am sad to say that millions of Christians proved me wrong.
People let me down when I make assumptions about their values and character without proof. Broken assumptions have made me much less trusting of my fellowman. It’s made me cynical.
Yesterday my young coworker asked me if I had heard the news of another school shooting. She said eight people were dead. It’s not the first time that she has told me about a school shooting while we are at work. In a few years, she’s going to send her baby off to school. How does it feel to be a parent and know that your kids are not safe at school?
I got my phone and looked for news on Facebook. One of my classmates wrote “I. Am. Pissed.” It makes her sick to hear about another school shooting. She said that we as a nation need to get a grip on this…
I am numb. Why am I numb? Why am I not shocked? Because this keeps happening. Because I have been carrying around the grief and sadness and feeling of hopelessness about school shootings for 19 years and one month. Why am I marking the anniversary of Columbine? Because it turned my world upside down. Because people are still hurting. Because we as a nation did not learn from this.
Why am I writing at 2 am instead of sleeping? Because I am not numb. Because I woke up asking myself questions.
How can a man sit there in the White House and listen to the stories of children who survived the Parkland, Florida shooting and not be moved to do something about assault style weapons? That day, with notes in hand, I saw him reach out a hand of comfort as if he felt some empathy. What do jotted talking points say about his empathy? “What would you most want me to know about your experience?” “What can we do to help you feel safe?”
How could he then go speak at an NRA convention and tell the gun lovers that their “second amendment rights are under siege”? Why do people care more about their man-made right to own tools designed to kill people than about people?
How can people keep saying that this wouldn’t happen if we let God back in our schools? I went to school in the 60’s and 70’s and I sure don’t remember learning about God in school. I learned my love and fear of God at home and at church.
Why do young men keep doing this? What was going through this 17-year old’s mind when he saw news coverage of the last school shooting?
How can I keep watching news coverage of this when I know that nothing is going to change? When is this nation going to stop living in denial? When are we going to get a grip on this problem?
Innermost Being 