Innermost Being Blog

Fighting Virulent Voices

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

We’ve all known toxic people, people who poison the environment with their hatred and negativity. Vitriolic, vindictive, malevolent, they insert their fangs into tender flesh and the venom quickly spreads. I wish I didn’t have to think about toxic people but I can’t deny their existence.

Today, the most virulent voices are attacking the children who are trying to save lives by fighting for commonsense gun control legislation. This week, one of the most vile people on the planet said that the children who are protesting gun violence have no soul. He called them ignorant. He called them liars. And of course, his is not the only “conservative” voice spreading vitriol in an attempt to silence the children.

I stand with the kids. Their souls are beautiful to me. Their lives are precious to me. They do not speak with virulent voices but with voices of valor.

If I could give advice to these young activists, it would be this: Do not be afraid of them. Speak in the light. Proclaim the truth. They cannot kill your soul.

Fear God Alone
(Luke 12:4-7)

So do not be afraid of them. For nothing is concealed that will not be uncovered, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the housetops.

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Instead, fear the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

via Daily Prompt: Toxic

Grace Wins

by Innermost Being, posted in Spiritual Struggles
The War Between Guilt and Grace

Something has been weighing on me all week. After I attended the March for Our Lives on Saturday, I posted a photo on Facebook of a friend holding a poster that said that if guns were in our vaginas, they’d be regulated. My sister said the poster was vulgar. She implied that my friend is advocating for abortion rights instead of against gun violence and that by attempting to shock people, she harmed the gun control movement.

I knew when I shared the picture of my friend’s poster that it might offend some people.  A year ago, I wouldn’t have done it. Too often, I have let myself be paralyzed by the fear of what people think. That fear kept me from expressing myself as freely as other people do. I hid the real me. The real me is not a social conformist. The real me is not perfect, the real me makes mistakes, and the real me loves people who are flawed like I am.

I can understand my sister being repulsed by the words my friend chose; I don’t like the mental image of a gun down there either. I don’t like guns period. Even that offends some people. But I understood the point my friend was trying to make and I chose to share it.

I felt ashamed and embarrassed when my sister said my friend’s words were vulgar. I thought about the people from church who may have seen my Facebook photo. Would they think that I’m a bad person for sharing it? But they already know that I am a sinner. Why should I worry about them knowing what they already know?

In the song, Grace Wins, Matthew West sings about the war between guilt and grace. I have been fighting that battle this week. In my mind’s eye, I see people shaking their heads in disgrace, disappointed in me, asking who do you think you are?

In my weakest moment I see you
Shaking your head in disgrace
I can read the disappointment
Written all over your face

Here comes those whispers in my ear
Saying who do you think you are
Looks like you’re on your own from here
Cause grace could never reach that far

Against You and You Only

My church has been studying Psalm 51, David’s plea for God’s mercy after Nathan confronted him about his sins. David asked God for mercy and said, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”

I cried and prayed this week about my own feelings of shame. There is no shame in not being the person my sister wants me to be though I am sorry for any distress I cause her. There is shame in not bringing glory to God. Against God, and only God, have I sinned. By being irreverent. By being full of pride. By not being pure of heart.

In my inmost place, I know that it’s not over. Grace does reach this far. I’m living proof, grace wins every time.

For the prodigal son, grace wins
For the woman at the well, grace wins
For the blind man and the beggar, grace wins
For always and forever, grace wins
For the lost out on the street, grace wins
For the worst part of you and me, grace wins
For the thief on the cross, grace wins
For a world that is lost

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time

 

If We’re Honest

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

A Facebook friend posted a Lessons Learned in Life meme that says: “As we get older, we become more honest and don’t have the patience for pointless drama.” I am beginning to resemble that statement. When you are young, you can afford to be inefficient with your time. When more than half your life is gone, you don’t want to waste it on pointless drama or pretenses.

Before I decided to let go of pointless drama, I would tell myself to put up with people who are obnoxious or offensive. Be patient and maybe they’ll change. But now I feel free to let them go. Why waste time hoping they’ll change their stripes? As Maya Angelou said, when people show you who they are, believe them.

In the past, I often held back from expressing myself honestly and openly because I worried about what other people think of me. I tried too hard to please other people instead of being true to myself. A few months ago, I resolved to do my best to be authentic, even at the risk of failing to meet the expectations of other people.

I have disappointed people since I made the decision to be more authentic. To be honest, it makes me feel bad about myself. In being myself, I’m not the exact person other people want me to be. In being myself, I sometimes make choices that other people don’t agree with. But I will never regret being my authentic self. I’ve learned to accept my brokenness. There’s mercy waiting on the other side.

If We’re Honest (Francesca Battistelli)
Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide
I’m a mess and so are you
We’ve built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do
Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine
‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy’s waiting on the other side
If we’re honest
If we’re honest
Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not
Living life afraid of getting caught
There is freedom found when we lay our secrets down at the cross, at the cross

via Daily Prompt: Inefficient

Hard Pills to Swallow

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

Some pills are really hard to swallow. They’re too big to go down easily. For me, the anticipation of how hard it will be to swallow a big pill makes it even harder to get it down. I anticipate it getting stuck. I expect that I might gag. I try not to taste it, but I know that if it doesn’t go down the first time, it is going to taste gross. I tense up. My throat constricts. And when I do manage to relax enough get it down, I sometimes have the feeling that the pill is stuck in my throat.

I read a definition that said that the idiom “a hard (or bitter) pill to swallow” means something that is hard to believe. For example, you might say that it is hard to swallow the excuses of a person who is untrustworthy. But I think that when we say that something is hard to swallow, it means that a truth is difficult but necessary to accept. You don’t want to accept the truth but you have to accept the truth just as you have to swallow a big pill for your own good.

Some truths are really hard to accept. They’re too big to go down easily. We resist accepting hard truths because they grate against what we want to believe. We resist tasting them and we resist feeling them because it’s unpleasant and we’re afraid we might gag. But the truth has to be accepted to do any good.

 

via Daily Prompt: Swallow

Photo by JESHOOTS.com from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/drink-girl-glass-hands-576831/

 

 

No Longer Foreigners

by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

I don’t like the way many people in my country treat foreigners. The president wants to build a wall to keep people south of the border from entering this country. He and others unfairly accuse immigrants of being murderers and rapists, when in fact, most are good people. In America, almost all of us are descendants of immigrants. Immigrants are a valuable part of our labor force.

Exodus 22:9 says, “Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.” Psalm 146:9 says, “The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.”

I was once a foreigner. I am a Gentile by birth but I was adopted into God’s family. He destroyed the dividing walls. He welcomed me in. I am no longer a foreigner but a fellow citizen with God’s people (Ephesians 2:19).

This is my father’s world
Oh, let me never forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong
God is the ruler yet

via Daily Prompt: Foreign