Whatβs the thing youβre most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I had trouble finding the words to name my fear. At first, I thought about saying “public speaking,” but I know I can conquer this fear when I need to. Then I thought, “fear of offending people.” But it’s really more about a fear of putting people with different views than me on the defensive. The truth is that I don’t want to alienate people by expressing my opinions.
Sitting on the plane today, reading Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion (Dr. Wendy Suzuki), I read a description of a man she called Lavon who was involved in local politics.
He loved talking to people, sharing his stories and insights, and especially loved talking to people on the fence or those who held opposing views. He had a talent for open discussion with anyone with any view and enjoyed rather than shied away from it. He didn’t need to “win” the conversation.
Dr. Wendy Suzuki
Dr. Suzuki said that Lavon was a nervous kid who channeled his energy into sports. In college, he struggled with anxiety and withdrew from his teammates on the college basketball team. Lavon reached out to his coach for help. Grateful for the help he received during a difficult time, he wanted to make a difference in the world. As Suzuki put it, he put his empathy into action.
I don’t want to shy away from open discussion about controversial subjects. What would it take for me to freely share my views with others? Perhaps I need to change my mindset. It’s not about changing the other person’s mind. It’s about learning about each other and finding common ground.
It’s about putting empathy into action.