Dreams – Innermost Being

Write about your dream home.

My husband and I have owned two homes in the last thirty-one years. We plan to downsize later this year. Prior home ownership shows you what you want and what you don’t want in a home. But as anyone who has ever watched Love It or List It or House Hunters knows, couples do not always agree on the ideal home. We are no different.

Our first house, home for twenty-seven years, was a 1970s tri-level with an unfinished basement. I didn’t like having to go up and down stairs all the time. That house had a formal living room on the main level and a family room on the lower level. I don’t need two living rooms.

Our current house is a ranch style home with a completely finished basement. It was constructed in 2006, so it has the “open concept” design that is popular today. I like this style, but it isn’t on my must-have list. One of the reasons we want to move is that our house is too big for two people. I don’t like our master bedroom as much as the one in our old house because it isn’t wide enough for our bedroom furniture.

For me, a dream home isn’t just about the inside of the house; I also want a nice yard with a place to sit outside and for hubby to grill. I also like trees. Our first house had a fenced-in backyard with a covered concrete patio. I didn’t like having neighbors so close behind us. Our current house has a nice front porch and two decks in the back. We rarely use the uncovered deck. I like the fact that there are no houses behind us, just a pasture that is likely to be developed someday. As a lover of wildlife, I have enjoyed seeing deer in the pasture and in our yard.

Location. Location. Location. Our old house was in the suburbs. Almost everywhere we needed to go was within three miles of our house. Our current home is six miles or so from the grocery store and church and even farther from the gym and other businesses. I would like to be closer.

I’ve been looking at homes on Zillow and Realtor.com in anticipation of moving. I’ve talked to my husband a couple of times about the homes I like. He says we’re looking for different things.

Kent wants a home that is “cozy” like the home he grew up in. That house was small and outdated, and it’s definitely not my dream home. When Kent’s dad retired from farming, they moved into a newer home in town. I was so happy for my mother-in-law. Kent doesn’t mind a house that needs some work because you can personalize it to your taste. I would rather have a move-in ready home. In the past, we waited too long to remodel our country blue kitchen. Now, I’m too old, or maybe too spoiled, to wait years for what I want!

We lived in several old houses when I was growing up. My mother had a knack for making all our homes feel cozy. I prefer cozy to the starkness of some modern homes, but I don’t want to feel cramped. If there isn’t enough space, a home can easily become cluttered. Clutter disturbs my peace.

So what exactly is my dream home? No more than three levels, including the basement. Spacious master bedroom and kitchen. Two more bedrooms for guests. Space for all our books. A place to sit outside and drink a cup of coffee. Good lighting. And because we have cold winters and summer hail storms, a two car garage is a must.

My favorite home on the market in our area, in our price range, checks off all my boxes. It has a shady front yard with a covered porch. It’s centrally located. It was built in 1948, but it has been updated. The living room and kitchen are spacious. Upstairs, the bedrooms and bathroom have the slanted walls of a one and a half story home. That’s cozy.

For me, a dream home is one that makes both of us happy. Will my dream home be cozy enough for Kent but not too cramped for me?

Whenever I have dreams with a common theme, I ponder the meaning. I used to have recurring dreams about climbing. Whether it was a staircase or a steep hill, the higher I climbed, the narrower or more insecure the foothold. I eventually concluded that my dreams reflected anxiety about pursuing my goals.

Recently, I’ve been dreaming a lot about moving. The dreams seem strange to me because my husband and I moved about 20 months ago. I didn’t have these dreams when we first moved. Why am I dreaming about moving now? Moving to another state was definitely unsettling, but we’re now comfortably settled into our home. The newness has worn off. Life doesn’t feel weird anymore. We don’t plan to move again. We were in our last home for 27 years. So why do I keep dreaming about moving?

When I searched for information on dreams about moving, I didn’t find an explanation that fit my situation. Dreams about moving can be a sign of instability. They may reveal a desire for freedom or independence. They may represent the end of something or the beginning of something.

dreams about moving may signify a desire to change our circumstances
dreams about moving may signify an ending or a beginning
dreams about moving may show you are overwhelmed and want to get away from the pressures of life
dreams about moving could indicate you are going through an inner transformation

My dreams have been about packing for a move and not about the move itself. I am always organizing stuff. The dreams are never about me and my husband moving. My siblings and my dad are in my dreams. In one of my dreams, I went into a room where a lot of mom’s things were stored. I searched the room for some specific thing I wanted to remember her by and I couldn’t find it. I found a pretty vase that I liked but my nephew wanted it.

Missing my family. Feeling unsettled. Wanting to get everything organized and ready for a move.

When I was a kid, we moved 13 times by my count. I believe there were financial reasons for some of our moves – cheaper rent? Closer to dad’s job? Mom moved us several times after the divorce. I have often thought that she wanted to move to change her circumstances. A new environment would make everything better. Every time we moved, mom quickly turned our house into a home. But frequent moving definitely made my childhood feel unstable, like I had no control.

We moved 20 months ago because I was tired of living in a suburb of a big city with too much traffic. I wanted to live closer to nature. The desire to move was a persistent longing that I couldn’t ignore, even though I crave stability. We moved the day after we buried my father. That was traumatic. I’m a planner but you can’t plan these things.

I am comfortably settled in my new home but I feel unsettled at the same time. It’s no wonder that I feel unsettled. I left friends behind when we moved. I miss them. I transitioned to part-time work this summer but it hasn’t been a smooth transition. My replacement can’t fill my shoes.

Perhaps my dreams are about transition and my desire to get some control over the changes.

Getting old is a huge transition. We lose the ones we love. My mom and dad are both gone. My husband’s parents are both gone. My oldest sibling is 62; the youngest 45. I worry about losing my husband someday. I don’t want to lose any more loved ones but unless I die first, more loss is inevitable.

So I remind myself that God is in control. He is with me wherever I go. He comforts me.

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Photo by Michal Balog on Unsplash

Tag: Dreams

Cozy, but not cramped

Packing up to move