My soul hopes and groans

My Bible study group is reading The Hope of Heaven: How the Promise of Heaven Changes Everything by Sheila Walsh. In the study guide that accompanies the book, Walsh introduced the Greek word στενάζω (stenazo) for the chapter dealing with disappointment. Stenazo means to groan or sigh inwardly. It can also mean to grumble or complain.

Stenazo perfectly captures how I am feeling these days. I cry out to God in frustration.

It’s hard to hang onto hope. It’s hard to be at peace. It’s hard not to fear the worst. It’s hard not to be angry at the betrayal by people who claim to follow Christ.

Yes, I have hope for myself because I have been promised eternal life in a place where there is no pain and suffering. But I have to live in this broken world now. On a daily basis, I hear about the cruelty and lawlessness perpetrated by a man who has rejected God’s commandment that we love one another, even our enemies, the man who insulted a woman of God for pleading with him to have mercy.

A couple of days ago, I told a Christian friend that my husband used to go to church with me occasionally. I told her that with the current political environment, he refuses to go. She said, “Really. I’m in seventh heaven.” She started to say more but stopped herself. I groaned inwardly.

My heart breaks. My soul groans.

I am disappointed in Christians who voted for an evil man. I find solace in knowing I am not alone. I have Christian allies – people who are not afraid to speak out against Trump’s wickedness, people who refuse to bow down, people who remain faithful followers of Christ.

So as I groan inwardly and cry out to God in frustration, I put my hope in Christ alone, the King of kings.

Revelation 17:13-14 NIV
They have one purpose and will give their power and authority to the beast. They will wage war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will triumph over them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings—and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers.”

I groan inwardly, but trust that Christ, the Lord of lords, will ultimately triumph over evil.

A Prayer for Aching Hearts

Heavenly Father, thank you for my health and for the health of my loved ones. Lord, everyday I hear about widespread physical suffering and death from the coronavirus pandemic. It is not like anything we have experienced in our lifetimes. Lord, again I pray for doctors, nurses, and nurses aides who put their own health at risk to save lives. Again I pray for essential workers who risk their own health to provide essential goods and services to the public.

Lord, this global pandemic has caused more than physical suffering and financial woes. It has brought widespread heartache. In normal times, doctors and nurses and ministers learn to face the reality of suffering and death. My sister has made a career of caring for the elderly, including our mother. She has seen a lot of death. This pandemic is like nothing anyone has experienced.

When my mother-in-law was dying, we stood at her bedside in the hospital and held her hand as she struggled to breathe. We had the chance to say goodbye. When my mother lay dying in the nursing home, we gathered around her bedside as her organs failed. We kissed her face and held her hand and said our tearful goodbyes.

This is different. When a person is afflicted with a contagious disease, healthcare workers can only approach wearing masks and protective clothing. Doctors and nurses cannot extend a human touch of comfort. Loved ones cannot surround the dying in the last moments of life as we surrounded my mother with love.

Father, this is heartbreaking.

Lord, bless the hearts that break for others. Comfort those who must maintain physical distance to guard against infection, even as they long to comfort the afflicted. Be their personal protective shield against this virus. Give them strength to face each day.

God of mercy, hear my prayer. Amen

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash