Tag: Rest

A Prayer for My Calling and Contentment

On By Innermost BeingIn Prayer2 Comments

I am still slowly reading Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer (Priscilla Shirer). The chapter titled “Your Fears: Confronting Your Worries, Claiming Your Calling” was especially timely. As I read it, my church was going through a sermon series on being called – called to flourish, called to walk worthily, called to the cross, etc. I’ve been praying about my calling for years and at last, I am ready to claim it.

Strategy 6 – Against Your Calling

He (Satan) amplifies fear, worry, and anxiety until they’re the loudest voices in your head, causing you to deem the adventure of following God too risky to attempt.

Priscilla Shirer

Shirer began the chapter with a story about a friend who had been trying to decide whether she should cut back on her caseload as a counselor to follow a calling to write about her experiences. She was plagued with doubts and worries about what might happen. What if I can’t do it? What if it all ends up being a total waste of time and energy? What if it’s all just some sort of ego trip or head game, something I’m projecting onto myself?

In a really long sentenced that I’ve shortened, Shirer wrote, “if God has given you clear direction…and your only real reason for resisting Him is because you’re afraid of what following Him down this path might mean or cost or entail, then you’re not only on the threshold of being disobedient, you’re about to miss an opportunity to give God some fresh new glory by doing what He’s wanting to do through you…”

Unfortunately, there is no burning bush. It isn’t always easy to tell if God has given you clear direction, especially when you feel pulled in other directions and you keep hearing the voices of worry and self-doubt.

It is simplistic to suggest that fear of the unknown is the only reason for resisting God’s calling. Four years ago, I thought I was taking a leap of faith when I quit my job of eight years. I intended to begin a new chapter in my life. Instead, after a couple of months, I found another accounting job and I’m right back where I was, longing do something meaningful with the rest of my life. Here’s what I wrote at the time:

I find my desire for safety and security at war with my desire to do something more meaningful, something that fulfills and motivates me. I have battled to make the right decision even though my job has left me feeling trapped and unfulfilled.

In another chapter of Fervent, “Your Pressures: Reclaiming Peace, Rest and Contentment,” I found clues that explain my own resistance to God’s calling. In my 35 year career, I have felt pressure to keep doing, to keep performing, to keep achieving, to keep being the perfect employee, to keep bringing home the bacon.

Strategy 8 – Against Your Rest and Contentment

He (Satan) hopes to overload your life and schedule, pressuring you to constantly push beyond your limits, never feeling permission to say no.

Priscilla Shirer

In this chapter, Shirer wrote about the biblical command of the Sabbath. Why is it so hard, she asked, for some of us to rest, pull back, take a deep breath, and step away from our day-to-day responsibilities? She suggested that it is because we think the way a slave thinks. We’ve been trained to not say no. While I wouldn’t describe myself as a slave, I have felt like a person living in bondage, like I owe my employer a debt I can never pay off, like I can’t leave because people need me too much.

Fear and insecurity also play a role in the way we respond to the pressures of life. We worry about impressing people and proving our worth. We act as if the only way we can gain favor is to work and produce. We’re afraid we won’t have enough, won’t be enough, if we don’t keep going, pushing, achieving. Shirer wrote that the pressures we put on ourselves can be a sign of idolatry. We make idols out of our reputations, our achievements, our self-reliance.

Fear and insecurity have kept me from following God’s calling. The pressure to achieve and to please other people has kept me bound to my career.

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Lord Jesus,

Thank you for being patient with me as I struggle with my doubts and insecurities. Anyone else would have given up on me by now. You have always been faithful, never leaving my side. You are my hope and my strength.

Father, my pastor said that the more we get to know You, the better we will hear Your call. I pray this is so. It has been hard for me see the clear direction of Your calling when I keep hearing the voices of doubt and worry.

I can’t help but wonder if the persistent longings of my heart are You calling me. Why was I so obsessed with the desire to leave my home of thirty years to move to a state I had only visited once? Why, after thinking about moving for a couple of years, did I finally make the leap just a few months before the pandemic? And how can I explain the presence of people in my life who unknowingly gave me the courage to step out in faith?

Lord, Priscilla said that a free woman has the God-given ability to know when You are asking her to do something. A free woman has the discernment to know her limits and to know when she needs to pause. Thank you for giving me the clarity and the gentle nudge I need. I want to be free of the ties that bind me to my job.

Just as I felt a persistent yearning to move, I now feel a persistent longing to retire, to stop earning and achieving. The desire to do something more meaningful with my life, to be Your hands and feet, has not gone away. I can see now that by clinging to the attachments of this world, I am missing out on the opportunity to do what You want to do through me. Forgive me for resisting this yearning.

Lord Jesus, I am weary of working. I am ready to take your yoke upon me and to serve others for you. I pray for courage. I pray for the right timing. I pray that you will lead my employer to the right replacement.

Amen

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash

A Prayer for Renewal

On By Innermost BeingIn Prayer4 Comments

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31

Heavenly Father, thank you for this week off from work. I nearly reached my breaking point this month. I asked for help over and over again and didn’t get it. I was ready to quit. It was like the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Lord, the last six months have been stressful. My dad died. A few days later, we moved to another state. In my haste to get back to work, I buried my grief. I went through another busy season at work. And just when things were looking brighter, the world was rocked by a pandemic. All of this has taken a toll on me.

Lord, You are always with me. You are my rock and my refuge. Renew my strength during this week of rest. I want to run and not grow weary. I want to walk and not be faint. But mostly, I want to be my normal helpful self, not a person who resents people for expecting too much of me.

God, grant me the serenity to live one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will.

Amen

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Photo by Lars Kuczynski on Unsplash

Meekness and Rest

On By Innermost BeingIn Pursuing God4 Comments

In one of his most profound statements in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. Even then, this was an astonishing statement. The world sees meekness as weakness. According to Vocabulary.com: “The adjective meek describes a person who is willing to go along with whatever other people want to do, like a meek classmate who won’t speak up, even when he or she is treated unfairly.” Why then did Jesus suggest that meekness is a strength?

In The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer pointed out that the world turns every virtue of The Beatitudes wrong side out. Instead of displaying poverty of spirit, mankind displays the worst forms of pride. Instead of mourning sin and suffering, man indulges himself with every kind of pleasure. Instead of walking humbly and meekly before God, man struts around inflated with pride and self-importance. Instead of hungering and thirsting for righteousness, man chases money and things. Instead of striving to be pure in heart, man delights in sin and corruption. Instead of making peace, man quarrels and sows discord. Instead of accepting mistreatment at the hands of others, man fights back with every weapon at hand.

Unlike most people, Jesus was meek and humble. Although he did not fight back when he was treated unfairly, no one would ever claim that Jesus was a pushover who did whatever other people wanted to do.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me. For I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

Mathew 11:28-30 (Modern English Version)

Tozer made an interesting connection between the meekness of Jesus and his promise to give rest to those who are heavily burdened. Was Jesus speaking about physical labor? What is this heavy burden borne by mankind?

Pride is a terrible burden. Look at how hard we work to build the self up and to defend the self from insult, slights and criticism. It is hard and tiring labor to constantly fight to protect and defend our wounded pride.

The labor of self-love is a heavy one indeed.

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God.

We don’t have to bear this burden. Jesus calls us to him for rest. Being meek like Jesus is the way we find rest from the heavy burden of pride.

A meek man sees himself honestly, both the good and the bad. He knows that the world will never see him as God sees him. He know that he doesn’t have to be perfect to be beloved by God!

Pretense is also a heavy burden. It takes a lot of energy to pretend to be what you’re not. It takes tremendous effort to always put your best foot forward, to always make a good impression, to craft the perfect social media image. It is indeed a heavy burden to hide the pain, the failures, the awkwardness, the self-doubt, and imperfection.

In Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, Richard Rohr also addressed the issue of pretense but he referred to it as your shadow self.

Your shadow is what you refuse to see about yourself, and what you do not want others to see. The more you have cultivated and protected a chosen persona, the more shadow work you will have to do.

Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

Rohr wrote, “your self-image is not worth protecting, promoting or denying.” But letting go of this desire to protect the self is not easy. Today, I found myself automatically wanting to defend myself from criticism that wounded my pride. I had to tell myself, let it go. It’s not worth it.

When we learn to die to the self, we are free from the bondage of pride.

Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me just as I am, flawed and imperfect. Help me to think of myself less. Help me to be meek and lowly in heart. Free me from the heavy burdens of pride and pretense.

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