A couple of months ago, my pastor asked a question. What is your spiritual need for this year? My response: dying to myself.
This may seem like a strange response. It was prompted by a year-long study of Dallas Willard’s book, Life Without Lack: Living in the Fullness of Psalm 23. A chapter called Trust Completed in Death to Self showed me I will never live a life without lack if I don’t let go of my desire for social approval.
Yes, I seek the approval of people. Or, to put it another way, I avoid their disapproval. It’s an ongoing battle. If I am still trying to please people or to win their approval, I can not be a whole-hearted, faithful servant of Christ.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
As I was nearing the end of Life Without Lack, I saw a book at church called Gazing at God by Sharon Hodde Miller. The subtitle is “A 40-day Journey to Greater Freedom from Self.” Instead of the phrase death to self, Miller uses the term self-forgetfulness. She defines self-forgetfulness as “freedom from being distracted by or preoccupied with the self, so that we are then free to love God and others.”
The term self refers to my identity as a person, encompassing my personality, my character, and my essential nature – my inner being. God wants me to realize my full potential – the person he intends me to be. I should not exchange the best version of myself for something less valuable.
The concept of dying to self does not mean killing off or erasing who you are. Willard described death to self as rising up to God. It is exchanging a self-centered life for a Christ-centered life. Dying to myself means living my life for Jesus. It means crucifying the wants and desires that conflict with God’s will.
Jesus said that if you want to be his disciple, you must deny yourself and take up your cross. I never really understood what Jesus meant by taking up your cross. Willard said the cross means “acceptance of limitation on desire.” It is surrendering your personal desires and comforts to follow Jesus, regardless of the cost. It is a sacrifice.
I have embarked on a spiritual journey – one without a time limit – to forget myself, to release the self-centered desires that hold me back from being an obedient disciple of Christ.
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Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. Matthew 16:24-25
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 NIV
Innermost Being 