In recent years, I have heard about Christians deconstructing their faith. Religious deconstruction was a new term for me. I never thought I would need to deconstruct my own faith because my faith in Christ is strong. But recently, I was thrown into an unexpected controversy at my church that has me taking apart what I believe.
Deconstruction is a personalized piecing apart of one’s belief system. This may include political and religious views, gender roles, race and identity.
Rebekah Drumstra, 3 Stages of Deconstruction
Last year, the elders of my church (of which I am one) began discussing the fact that the denomination has become more liberal with respect to sexual orientation and gender identity. A couple of months ago, the pastor took the issue to the congregation and explained that if we don’t like what the PCUSA is doing, we can go through a process of discernment with the Presbytery and then vote as a congregation on whether to leave the denomination.
Then, the pastor went on a sabbatical for ten weeks and told us to spend the time reading and praying for discernment. When he comes back, the elders will have a special vote on whether to begin the process.
Based on everything I have heard, there are a lot more people in favor of leaving the denomination than staying. A few families have already left the church because they don’t want to be associated with a denomination that affirms LGBTQ and transgender people. People claim that they would welcome them to our church, but that they should be excluded from leadership and that they must be confronted with their sins.
I have been praying a lot and losing sleep struggling with this issue. I have been reexamining what I believe about scripture, what I believe about sexual orientation and gender identity, and what I believe my role is as a follower of Christ. It has been a spiritual struggle on steroids!
The truth is, I have been wrestling with the issues of sexual orientation and gender identity for years because I want to understand. I have gay and lesbian friends. My sister has a grandchild who is nonbinary. I already concluded that people don’t just choose to be different or nonnormative. I believe there are biological reasons for sexual and gender differences that have not yet been fully substantiated by science.
I’ve also had my doubts about the inerrancy of scripture. I have been taught the concept of solo scriptura – that all scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching and correcting. But there are parts of scripture that Christians do not follow today, like the Old Testament purity laws. When reading scripture, we take the culture into context. There are scriptures that I don’t take literally. I question the accuracy of the translations of ancient texts. Scholars made decisions about what to include in the Bible. I do believe God inspired the authors, but the authors and translators were not infallible.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
The gospels, the words of Jesus, are the most useful for teaching and rebuking me for my own sins. Jesus told us the most important commandment: love God with everything you’ve got and love your neighbor as yourself. He did not focus his ministry on sins of the flesh but on sins of the heart. He saved his harshest criticisms for the religious leaders.
The criticism that strikes me as being very relevant to modern-day hypocrites is this one:
But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.
Matthew 23:13
The big thing that I can not overlook in my discernment process is that the same people who do not want to be associated with a denomination that affirms LGBTQ and transgender believers are willing to align themselves with someone who is truly wicked. They choose to support him. His many sins include adultery, sexual abuse of women, bullying and verbally abusive language, profound dishonesty, racism, hatred, malice, the desire for vengeance and retribution, corruption. and greed.
For ten years, I have struggled with being a minority in my church because I refuse to align myself with a man who is the antithesis of Christ. I stayed in the Presbyterian church because my pastors focused on the word of God. But the hypocrisy of the people is finally pushing me out the door. I will be visiting other churches while our pastor is away.
Finally, what is my role as a follower of Christ? It’s loving my neighbor as I love myself, which means loving them unconditionally. It’s doing my best to make sure that no one misses out on the grace of God. It’s leaving judgment to God. It is not shutting the door to the kingdom of God in people’s faces.
Innermost Being 