Innermost Being

Trying to Understand the Inscrutable

January 27, 2018January 28, 2018 by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

I am part of a small group of women who meet a couple of times a month for a Bible study. I am the oddball of the group. The five other women are ultra conservative. I guess I am best described as a progressive. I am most definitely in favor of social progress and improvement, whether it is improving access to affordable healthcare, protecting the environment, promoting voting rights and the equality of women, etc. I don’t want to go backwards. I don’t want to maintain things the way they are.

This is not the first time I have been the oddball in a koinonia – a group of believers who get together for support and fellowship. The last time I was so disturbed by right-wing political comments (calling Obama the antichrist and a socialist) that I dropped out of the group even though I genuinely liked the women. This time, I am trying to hang in there and love my friends despite our very different understandings of what it means to follow Christ.

Case in point: Last night, one of the women made an inscrutable comment in response to a question in our study book: How have you seen God use surprising people and circumstances to accomplish his will in this world? She said she heard that the current administration reads more scripture than any administration since JFK and his cabinet meetings start off with prayer.

I was not speechless, though it’s difficult for me to remember all my words when I am emotional about something. I did say, “There may be religious people at his meetings but I think he is a wicked man.” Another woman said, they say he recently became a Christian. I said, “I don’t believe it. If he were truly saved he would be remorseful and repentant about the things he has said and done. He would not denigrate people the way he does.”

For the past couple of years as I have watched Christians support the wicked man who now occupies the oval office, I have vainly tried to make the inscrutable scrutable. I’ve tried to understand why people who follow the moral teachings of Jesus are so willing to ignore the immorality and hatefulness of the president.

I can’t make sense of it.

I understand confirmation bias; we listen to the arguments that fit our worldview. I understand that people have fears for the future. I understand that people have certain ends in mind when they vote.

I don’t understand consequentialism – the idea that the ends justify the means. Christians wanted a man who would appoint a conservative judge to the Supreme Court so they were willing to ignore his wickedness. They struck a bargain with a bigot.

The problem with consequentialism is the collateral damage that comes with the means. Is the country more moral with a pathological liar in the white house? Are we any better at loving our neighbors – other nations – with a nationalist at the helm? Is it worth risking the right to free speech when the emperor cries out “fake news!” every time the press points out that he has no clothes? Are we better at protecting the needy with a selfish, greedy man shaping governmental policies?

Try as I might, I can’t make the inscrutable scrutable.

Image credit: Vincent van Gogh, Courtesy National Gallery of Art, Washington

via Daily Prompt: Inscrutable

Dominant Issues

January 25, 2018January 28, 2018 by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

On Saturday, while I waited for the Women’s March to start, a woman gave me a stamped postcard to send to my Republican senator. I seriously doubt that the senator gives a crap what I think but I decided to send the card anyway. The card has a tiny space to write what I’m concerned about and why. There’s no way I can adequately explain my political concerns on a postcard but I did my best. The three words I listed as dominant issues are loaded with meaning: Democracy, Decency, and Dreamers.

Democracy

I’m concerned about our democracy for a variety of reasons. There is ample evidence that Russians attempted to interfere with our election process. Even if the president had won the election fair and square, his authoritarian tendencies are alarming. He seeks revenge against his political opponents, especially HRC. He encouraged violence at his worship services, I mean, his rallies. He attacks the legitimacy of the press on a daily basis because they expose the truth. He attacks the integrity of the Justice Department and the FBI because their job is getting to the truth. So far, the judicial branch has placed limits on his power but the legislative branch has not been an effective check.

Decency

Decency refers to “behavior that conforms to accepted standards of morality and respectability.” The president violates accepted standards on a daily basis. He lies constantly, even about unimportant matters. His comments about other people are vile, cruel, and profane. His constant boasting is revolting. As a businessman, he stiffed his creditors. He is a serial adulterer who has bragged about assaulting women.

Dreamers

“Dreamers” are immigrants, mostly from Mexico, who were brought to the United States as children. Although I care about all immigrants and refugees, I think that protecting Dreamers should be a priority because they are here through no fault of their own.

Mr. Gardner, not only do I hope you understand these issues, I hope you take your responsibilities seriously. I’m watching and waiting.

via Daily Prompt: Dominant

Marching with Strength and Dignity

January 22, 2018January 22, 2018 by Innermost Being, posted in Faith and Culture

One year ago, I participated in the Denver Women’s march because I believe in the words on a Freedom poster that hangs on my bedroom wall: The struggle for freedom, equality and justice transcends race, religion, political affiliation and even death. I would add that the struggle also transcends gender. Although the struggle is ongoing, this year I marched to celebrate the strengths of women.

I am proud of the women who broke years of silence about sexual assault and harassment at the hands of powerful men. I am proud of the women who rallied to support them, giving credence to their stories. Those who abuse their power have been put on notice that women expect to be treated with dignity and respect. The silence breakers proved how powerful women can be when we stand together.

Last year, I carried a poster that said, “The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” This quote came from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who paraphrased the words of Theodore Parker, an abolitionist.

This year, when I thought about what to put on my poster, I initially wanted to express my anger at the “stable genius” who disparaged the people of Haiti and other countries with his profane comments. Though many people make the Women’s March about their opposition to him, for me, it is about strong women standing up for human rights.

When I searched for words about the strength of women, I found words that Solomon wrote long ago about a woman of noble character:

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

On the flip side of my poster, I wrote:

She is:

Compassionate, courageous, wise, strong, determined, gentle, tough, and

SHE VOTES!

When I marched last year, I saw many people carrying posters with red, white and blue images of beautiful, diverse women: an African-American, a Latina, and a Muslim. I searched for Women’s March posters and found free downloadable We the People artwork. Since the inauguration, the images have been used as “symbols of hope to combat the rising power of nationalism, bigotry, and intolerance.”

I march to defend the dignity of all human beings, especially those considered unworthy by the president. I march because I want to protect the vulnerable, including the Dreamers. I march because love is greater than fear.

My Eyes Are On the Horizon

January 20, 2018January 28, 2018 by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

via Daily Prompt: Horizon

When I have an especially long road ahead of me, I look ahead at the horizon. The horizon is far away yet reachable. It gives me a goal to reach for. It takes my attention away from the effort it takes to keep on going. One foot after the other, I march onward.

Even as I celebrate the shrinking distance with each step, I marvel at the huge expanse ahead of me. My eyes can take in only so much of it. I am one tiny speck in a landscape that rolls on forever.

There’s something beyond that line where earth meets sky, something worth marching towards. Beyond the horizon, a vision of better times waits to unfold.

Entertaining My Thoughts

January 15, 2018January 28, 2018 by Innermost Being, posted in Word Prompts

via Daily Prompt: Entertain

There’s something quite compelling to me about the concept of “entertaining a thought.” I seek entertainment when I am bored, when I want to be amused, or when I need to relax and unwind.

My thoughts rarely stop. They come unbidden. Sometimes I try not to think about a certain thing, but my mind keeps returning to it.

Most frustratingly, in the middle of the night, I wake up thinking about a problem or an idea I want to explore. My mind just won’t stop. I learned a long time ago, that counting sheep doesn’t work. So I entertain my thoughts knowing that eventually I will fall asleep and dreams will come.

Dreams are the most entertaining thoughts I ever have and I welcome them. There’s something so weirdly random about dreams. You never know who is going to show up.

This mind loves to entertain thoughts. I pour them a drink, offer them a snack and say, stay awhile. Take off your coat. Pull up a chair. Tell me, what are you thinking.

But most of the time, entertaining my thoughts is not a social engagement. It is a solitary pursuit. There’s a party in my head and you’re not invited.